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Big Penises Cause Big Problems

Jesus. His cock is so big it's capable of causing fatal internal damage. I've never been so jealous in my life.

2,495,853 views 07/15/09 Fail

Gone With The Wind

It's a bird. It's a plane. It's.... two thinly sliced pieces of USDA Select Grade roast beef attached to a big titted slut.

1,348,798 views 07/08/09 Brazzers LULZ

His Penis Is Bigger Than Yours

He wears eyeliner, listens to Marilyn Manson and has the masculinity of Richard Simmons. Was god drunk off his ass when he decided to bless this tard with a 13 inch cock or what? It should've been me you mothefucker. Meeeee.

4,676,089 views 06/30/09 Big Dicks

Gone In 60 Seconds

The title is slightly inaccurate, I just felt like making a reference to that shitty Nick Cage movie. The reality of the situation is that this willy wonka can't even last 5 seconds. Getting to the 1 minute mark would be like an olympic achievement.

1,924,291 views 05/25/09 Premature

Tits From Hell

God does not love you.

722,817 views 04/29/09

Help! My Boobs Are Too Big!

She basically paid over $10,000 just to have her titties butchered. What kind of sick, fucked up world is this?

1,972,340 views 04/14/09 Modifications

Elf Titties

75% boob, 25% nipple. I dig it.

962,573 views 03/24/09

Zombie Tits

I suppose titty fucking is out of the question?

765,417 views 02/10/09

Your Cock Will Never Be That Big

Luckily I'll never be exposed to such humiliation at the hands of a woman, for in my hometown of Tajikistan it's a criminal offense to mock a man's penis size, punishable by decapitation via serrated butter knife. But that's not to say a woman would ever have any reason to shame my kidney cracker to begin with. Trust me, I put horses to shame.

2,705,988 views 01/16/09 Amateur

2 Inch Penis

Nice trim job! It almost looks half an inch bigger shaved.

833,194 views 01/03/09

The Dumbest Sex Device Ever Built

That doesn't even look too fun. Her tits look like tomatoes on the verge of exploding. I never realized breasts were so durable. Not only do they come in handy for whatever the fuck you'd call this shit, but they also serve as excellent punching bags. They're multipurpose, unlike my penis.

1,495,676 views 12/28/08 Bizarre

Who Needs Big Tits?

Perhaps she doesn't. But what she does need is a paper bag. Guess where I want her to put it?

995,731 views 12/18/08

Mr. Holland's Opus

Never saw the movie but the title is the very first thing that comes to mind everytime I see a gaping vagina. Not sure why.

394,855 views 12/15/08

Homeless Hooker

I found this in an article about homeless women who work out of portable toilets as prostitutes. Can you imagine actually paying this beast to suck your dick in that thing? The heavy smell of shit/hiv would be enough to cause me respiratory failure.

721,382 views 12/11/08

No, I Will Not Fuck You

I want to be like this guy. I want to have woman begging for my cock and me be all like "lol no, slut" but I just don't see this happening. I mean right now I get rejected by everyone, including prostitutes (yes, even the black ones) so I don't know what the fuck to do. Maybe one of you will beg for my cock? C'mon, it's Christmas. Let me penetrate your holiday spirit.

1,489,542 views 12/09/08 Amateur

Death By Vaginal Cockroach

This is from a Russian film called Philosophy Of A Knife. It's about the Japanese Unit 731... the one that pretty much spent a decade coming up with ridiculous ways to kill people. It's basically just 4 hours of torture. Fun fun fun. While we're on the subject, I'm in preproduction on a post-apocalyptic thriller about punk rock necrophiliacs. Really could use some female talent. Hit me up!

1,905,717 views 11/19/08 Bizarre

20 Pound Titties

This woman has a rare condition known as Gigantomastia. Basically its when you grow titties bigger than watermelons and you end up having back problems for the rest of your life. Please god, create a similar condition that affects penis growth. I can handle the back pain, I promise.

1,224,755 views 11/12/08 Gallery

His Dick Wasn't Big Enough

When your penis just can't get the job done, you gotta resort to other body parts. The fist is the limb of choice for most of those big-pussied sluts, but of course there's always gonna be some with even more demanding needs. In this video the guy uses his foot, but keep in mind you can always skull fuck them too. Just shave your head 1st for the sake of hygiene.

1,764,394 views 11/07/08 Insertions

Turkish Painful Anal

This one is a little open-ended. There's no money shot or anything, which gives us the opportunity to use our imaginations and draw our own conclusions. Perhaps she had a prolapse, ran off the set in humiliation, then went flat broke and turned to prostitution? Sounds about right to me.

2,464,942 views 10/22/08 Painal

I Wanna Be A Pornstar

A few tit jobs and a little lipo, and then BAM... her vagina will be generating 7 figures annually before you even know it. It'll also be generating a yellowish discharge, depending on the severity of the Herpes and Gonorrhea that she's bound to contract.

1,589,164 views 10/04/08 Modifications
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