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Hello, I'm Masturbating To You

Who needs porno when you have... fat black bitches in bathing suits? Pretty much everyone but this guy.

07/30/09 Exhibition

The Sex Life Of A Dwarf

Repost? Technically yes. But the addition of Beetlejuice getting titty-blasted by some random bitch makes it well worth a second viewing. I promise.

07/25/09 Mildly Retarded

Big Penises Cause Big Problems

Jesus. His cock is so big it's capable of causing fatal internal damage. I've never been so jealous in my life.

07/15/09 Fail

Life Support Porn

I've officially seen it all. Well, almost. Still waiting on that Brian Peppers sextape to surface. Till then, my hunt for fucked up porno treasure goes on.

07/12/09 Mildly Retarded

Gone With The Wind

It's a bird. It's a plane. It's.... two thinly sliced pieces of USDA Select Grade roast beef attached to a big titted slut.

07/08/09 Brazzers LULZ

His Penis Is Bigger Than Yours

He wears eyeliner, listens to Marilyn Manson and has the masculinity of Richard Simmons. Was god drunk off his ass when he decided to bless this tard with a 13 inch cock or what? It should've been me you mothefucker. Meeeee.

06/30/09 Big Dicks

Not Your Typical Pornstar

He's got a viking haircut, a 7.5 inch cock and the pussy-eating skills of a Golden Retriever. The porn industry will never be the same.

06/08/09 Mildly Retarded

Gone In 60 Seconds

The title is slightly inaccurate, I just felt like making a reference to that shitty Nick Cage movie. The reality of the situation is that this willy wonka can't even last 5 seconds. Getting to the 1 minute mark would be like an olympic achievement.

05/25/09 Premature

The Most Obnoxious Bitch In Porn

I don't really give a fuck what anyone else has to say... domestic violence is always a solution. I'd pimp slap that bitch all the way back into the 80's, a time when her David Bowie hairdo was actually fashionable.

05/18/09 Fail

Pornstar Refuses To Do ATM

Sounds like a violation of a contractual agreement if you ask me. See ya on Judge Judy bitch.

05/16/09 Fail

Racist Porn From The 70's

Complete with a negro version of quasimoto. Warning in advance to my beloved caucasian viewers, black-on-white racism lies within!

05/01/09 Vintage

Tits From Hell

God does not love you.

04/29/09

Help! My Boobs Are Too Big!

She basically paid over $10,000 just to have her titties butchered. What kind of sick, fucked up world is this?

04/14/09 Modifications

Pornstars Say The Darndest Things

"You don't deserve my cock... you don't even deserve a bulldog's cock. All you deserve is your own stinking shit, so get down and suck it off my prick" .... turn the volume up for this one boys. Waaay up.

04/04/09 LULZ

Oink Oink Suck My Dick

For a minute there, I was actually beginning to lose faith in Japan's ability to consistently create the most fucked up, ridiculous adult films known to man. Then I was introduced to the latest and greatest - 'anamorphic animal porn'. Pure win.

03/30/09 Asians

Elf Titties

75% boob, 25% nipple. I dig it.

03/24/09

Prisoners Of Whore

The storylines on these Japanese pornos are really hard to follow. I vote less plot and more eels.

03/10/09 Asians

Butthole Obliteration

If Twitter was popular in 2009, a social media campaign could have made this a serious case for Depends Undergarment's first official sponsor of an amateur porn video. I consider it a lost opportunity really.

02/25/09 Painal

Zombie Tits

I suppose titty fucking is out of the question?

02/10/09
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