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Cute Face, Ugly Vagina

The one time Japan decides to not censor the genitals... they cast a girl with a Saarlac for a twat. Didn't see Return of the Jedi? Here's an alternative metaphor: Imagine Gene Simmons face, mouth ajar and tongue extended, reincarnated as Yoko Ono's twat. That ought to do it.

05/27/11 JAVHD Asians

Wrong Hole, Charlie Brown!

Persian girl gets an accidental, no-lube blow to the rectum... most likely due to her male counterpart having the gut of a grizzly bear and not being able to see what the fuck he's aiming at. Or in other words... he tried to no-scope it and failed wonderfully.

Porn Noob Pwns Himself

Big fat curved penis sends a fresh wad of home cooked Twinky filling right back into the face of it's creator. It's not a problem I expect to incur any time soon but I do retain faith in the bottle of Extenze my sister so kindly purchased me last xmas. Similar videos HERE & HERE.

04/19/11 Fail

Squirt Fail

A little KY Jelly, Egyptian cotton sheets, continuous stimulation of the G-Spot... what could possibly go wrong? I'll give you a hint.. it's shaped like a dodger dog, travels at high velocities and smells like that fat girl from Precious.

03/28/11 Fail

Derpy Derp Orgasmo Girl

Short compilation of Chloe Camilla's most over the top, ear deafening climaxes. I really wanna know... is this shit fake? or is it considered normal to perform half assed Taekwondo mid-orgasm?

03/07/11 Kink.com Orgasms

Damaged Goods

Director gets annoyed after discovering the star of his innocent themed porno flick is actually a post-crackwhorian guttertramp with a horrendous tattoo right where it counts. That's like casting Steven Segal in a drama about lesbians. Some things you just cant pull off, no matter how big your ponytail is.

Big Meaty Balls

He's got a 7 inch penis. You know what that means? He's fuckin John Stamos of the internet. And what better way to assert your superiority than to beat off on camera while talkin dirty in your finest batman voice? You da man.

02/10/11 LULZ

Shrek

Ouch. Time to cue "dont you wish your girlfriend was hot like me".

09/22/10

LOL Sexual Inferiority

Ya know what... when you're stuck with 4.2 inch weiner and the endurance of that fat fuck from ABC's Lost... propositioning a random big-dicked black dude to bang your wife really might not be all that great of an idea.

08/17/10 Premature

Girl Of The Year 2

Hot ass outtake from in which a pornstar rings her mom as she takes it up the ass. Check out the full DVD to catch a separate outtake of some crazy bitch making small talk with grandma after getting DP'ed. Good stuff.

08/17/10 LULZ

Girl Orgasms Via Rollercoaster

I love how the dude stops laughing and goes completely silent once he realizes his girlfriend wasn't joking about having an orgasm. Sorry Peter, your cock just got one-upped by a cheap carnival ride. HUMILIATION.

08/11/10 Orgasms

Threesome Fail

Dude gets kicked out of a sex club after breaking an unwritten rule against blowing your load on other people's girlfriends. Yep. You can slam fuck her till she screams bloody murder, just dont get any semen on her brah. Shit aint cool.

07/12/10 Fail

Girl Of The Year

Pornstar demonstrates her multitasking proskillz by calling up mommy and holding a conversation as she chows down on a can of man-ass. Divided attention really ain't all that bad.

07/09/10 LULZ

Meanwhile in Russia...

Dude unwittingly got himself a front row seat to Russia's biggest shit extravaganza.

05/16/10 LULZ

Girl Got HIV After Doing Anal

This is the story of Lara Roxx - a French Canadian who's career as a hardcore pornstar was derailed before it even began. She contracted HIV just after her first shoot - which involved taking 2 fat cocks up the ass simultaneously... aka "double anal"... aka just beggin for a blood transfusion.

05/13/10 Documentary

Pornstars + Crazy = WIN

There's something truly captivating about the tap dancing, bug eyed bitch at the 20 second mark. Her facial expression just screams "butt bang me till I poo blood." Definitely girlfriend material.

05/10/10 Party Hardcore LULZ

Even Jocks Premature Ejaculate

Contrary to his appearance, endurance really isn't this chumps specialty. To call him a minute-man would be a compliment. But all of that's okay when you have big muscles.

04/26/10 Premature

Lesbian Fail

Ashley Blue gets tossed to the ground after flaunting her diseased twat in the wrong girl's face. I'm afraid that canned tuna / Wisconsin aged cheddar aroma just ain't for everyone.

04/17/10 Squirt Bukkake Fail

Rectal Control Fail

She's in the middle of an all-girl bukkake shoot when her cornhole opens up and gives birth to a raisinette. Not only does this she pick it up and attempt to hide it, but she then continues to rub her snatch with the same fuckin hand. NICE 1 LADY!

03/30/10 Squirt Bukkake Fail

Orgasm Interrupted By Phone Call

Here's another video with that one girl who has orgasmic convulsions every time something big and black is stuck between her legs.

02/28/10 Orgasms
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