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Internet Porn Was A Mistake

Human Toilets & The Non Fungible Assholes. No, that's not the name of the next great Portland garage band, however the post-view flea bath is still required. The smell of Drakkar Noir and Astro Glide may come out of those walls, but... the stories. The stories are forever.

1,095,032 views 02/05/24 Big Dicks

I Hope There Is Homework

15,578 views 02/02/24 Public

Objectionable Porn That Shouldn't Exist: 2

You may cringe at the portable cock juicer. You might laugh at Big Foot committing a war crime. You will possibly Door Dash a 7 layer burrito bowl after seeing the sandworm at 0:45 second mark. But one thing's universal: We're all glad self-serving hasn't become a TikTok challenge. Yet.

1,345,191 views 01/29/24 WTF

Giving Herself A Concussion 3

19,888 views 01/26/24 LULZ

CAMTASTROPHES #11

3:40 is today's highlight. The fact that this behavior generates sustainable income blows my mind. Imagine taking one of those suburban mass shooter interrogation videos and crossbreeding it with Pepto Bismol. Then masturbate with steel wool cause that's the pain I feel watching.

1,718,256 views 01/25/24 CAMTASTROPHES

The Twister

17,979 views 01/15/24 Crazy

I Don't Blame Him

16,513 views 01/08/24 LULZ

Hope They Have A Staple Remover

22,198 views 12/27/23 Nasty

The Christmas Spirit

16,883 views 12/25/23 Strippers

Still Taste Like Shit

20,332 views 12/20/23 Insertions

Pure American Immorality

goon cave [plural goon caves] [Internet slang] An area or room dedicated to long masturbation sessions ["gooning"], often featuring a multi-monitor setup showing multiple pornographic contents simultaneously.


That's what Wikipedia tells you. What it doesn't tell you is some of these level 5 knuckle busting crotch goblins will bulldoze their entire savings account just to "expand their caves". So why are Americans singled out in the title? Because after being assaulted by over 500 photos of these demons, I noticed something; Not 1 Asian, Black, Hispanic or Alaskan Eskimo penis could be identified. Meaning this is yet another one of those spirited hobbies cultivated by the west. Feel free to sandwich it between 40 piece McNuggets and The Kardashians. [SOURCE #1] [SOURCE #2]

1,457,138 views 12/18/23 Gallery

Giving Herself A Concussion 2

18,418 views 12/15/23 LULZ

"Orb Challenge" Almost Ruptures Cervix

Got one too many (see: 3) emails about this particular wildebeest seen in Unacceptable Devices VIII, so here's the full[er] version for the special kind of miscreant that prefers to end his No Nutting November with some class.

650,688 views 12/11/23 Insertions

The Real WNBA 2

21,502 views 12/04/23 Exhibition

Very Classy 3

20,968 views 11/27/23 Fail

Giving Herself A Concussion 1

19,017 views 11/10/23 LULZ

Cum Haters 2023C

You know the drill; An assembly line of females willingly sign up for a chance at making it in the wonderful world of pornography, only to find out at the last second they wrote a check their taste buds can't cash. Emphasis on the last girl. You can scope the full(er) scene [HERE.]

1,266,821 views 11/09/23 Cum Haters

The Caught Compilation 20

Semi-homeless degenerate gets caught 4 strokes away from superstardom only to be met with the full force of a Starbucks-fueled Karen, ultimately sending his hardon to the boner graveyard. We've all seen it before. BUT, the big game hunter at the 2:15 mark? That predator deserves it's own week on The Discovery Channel.

1,692,352 views 11/02/23 Caught Compilations

Women's Defense Class

17,399 views 10/30/23 Asians
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