Seriously what the fuck is that

The Absolute Worst of Pornhub VII

Breaking traditional workout regimes, NASA-sponsored ejaculations and Skynet inching ever closer to harvesting our organs through the channel of A.I. powered sex transformers. If the next 8 minutes doesn't shine a more positive light on your life, nothing will. I'm here to help.

First Time Anal Ends In Tears

AKA "How to fuck teenagers for 60% off." So a little burnout QT3.14 thought she could get some extra weed money for some anal. Only problem is she's never done anal and has no idea the hurtin' she's in for.

Porn Scenes Worthy of an Oscar 7

Saw X will be out by the time this is posted. You can't name 5 ways it's better than this. #bet

Single Worst Camshow in Russia

FORNICATION: It's pretty basic stuff. But for Goober McAutismo over here it might as well be mission impossible. What you're about to see may quite possibly be the worst excuse for sexual entertainment that's ever made it online... and that's coming from someone who sat through all 74 minutes of Edward Penishands. Twice.

The Worst of OnlyFanz

onlyfanz: Some sign up to get a girl through hard times. Others are forced after capitulating an attempt to pay prostitutes in Wendy's coupons. They all start off good, but much like me during Terminator Dark Fate, it only takes 27 seconds to realize you just wasted your money.

Increase Orgasms While Committing Murder [5 Easy Tips]

Somewhere there's a porn writer that has lost their damned mind.

18 Year Old Suffers O-Ring Blowout

Don't worry, in a few days she'll be sitting and shitting normally. Just gotta put some icy-hot on her hurt butt and eat a lot of fiber. No worries.

Societal Decay Episode 2

Round #2 in a series that showcases the authentic side of some of our most interesting citizens. I'm not exactly sure what life choices have to be made to end up here, but it probably has something to do with blue checkmarks and whatever they put in those Impossible burgers.

Traumatizing Moments in Amateur Porn

More than enough reasons (see: 1) to never "try that thing i saw on the Internet with my girlfriend". Somewhere between the beef bazooka blowouts and frantically Google searching "how to get cat litter out of my vagina" you'll lose that last shred of dignity Dr. Phil is always screeching about.

Butt Sex Sends Poor Girl to the ER

Every dirty slut should know that a slippery fuck toy plus a cavernous butthole can equal a trip to the ER. Next time save yourself the embarrassing shuffle through the waiting room and tie a string to that mother fucker.

Prostitute Never Saw it Coming

I don't think that title and/or thumb truly convey the crossover that's about to happen here. But if it costs $50,000 to get an 8 pack of Oscar Mayer's uncured wieners into a female's dung funnel, then life is no longer worth living. Inflation did this.

THIS WON'T LAST 24HRS