Buy A Daughter, Get the Mom Free

Goober Tries Not To Cum

It's only 10 minutes into the all night sex party and this douche is about to bust his nut after a 30 second blowjob. Not wanting to end the night early, he awkwardly death grips his penis attempting to cease climax.

My Dead Sugar Daddy Made Me Millions

The insane story of an emotionally disabled prostitute/pornstar/sugar baby/urinal-for-hire with HPV and herpes that literally wrote the book on being a whore - 9 times. She claims her dead sugar daddy made her a millionaire and now haunts her... wow.

"I Have 2 Vaginas"

Sad to see how camscamming has gone from "side gig" to "a race to see who can park a Kia Soul up their twat first". Then again... when your target demographic is people that consider hotdog water a cologne, you gotta be ready to adapt. Consider this bitch the Dave Grohl of CamSoda.

The Tallahassee Crab Trap

Consider this the advanced users only section of the Internet. And nothing spells T-A-C-T-I-C-A-L A-D-V-A-N-T-A-G-E quite like a woman that could literally use a Volkswagen Golf as a dildo. If you're not into safe spaces being invaded... this one isn't for you.

Hooker of the Year 2019

Poor prosti gets sandbagged by a local gentleman who's only sexual experience involves Walmart's checkout line & Colt 45. But apparently her dugout is built for the major leagues, cause despite his John McLane ingenuity... she still walks away with a smile. Fucking amazing.

Dirty Rotten Piece of Shit Whore

♫ I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine
♫ I got a love and I know that it's all mine, oh, oh-oh
♫ Do what you want but you're never gonna break me
♫ Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me, oh, oh-oh

Land of the Fucking Dead

That feeling when you realize a backdoor studio in Japan with a $300 makeup budget is closer to the source material of the Resident Evil games than any official movie and whatever the fuck crawled out of Netflix headquarters put together. 2 thumbs up, would Jill off into my sandwich again.

The Biggest Whore In History

For a hooker/pornstar, she honestly seems like one of the nicest people ever. Even if her butthole looks like the queen alien from "Starship Troopers" and possibly carries multiple strains of the same venereal diseases.

Public Masturbator Actually Wins

The girl is [-Kesha Ortega-]. Well known. Built like a wood chipper. But the dude; He's just a bystander trying his best to appreciate the fine arts when he gets hurled into the role he was born to play. It's cinema really.

19-years-old and RUINED

There's only two people on Earth that should never be caught fishing for brown trouts: Lindsay Lohan in her 'i'll snort Tide Pods' phase, and this chick. She's 19, anti-semen and dumber than a mailbox on Sunday. In other words: she was BORN for eFukt.

My First 18-year-old Escort

Some real memorable facial expressions in this one. Almost as if she can't believe someone would pay good money to hookup with a person possessing less sexual prowess than a New York City hotdog, and still achieve climax. 4/10; would penetrate again.

THAT DIDN'T END WELL