Don't Care, Had Sex

Thot Hilariously Ruins Cum Shot

This is a pretty amazing scene right up until the point when it becomes one of the best cum shot fails of all time. Imagine the glorious feeling of having your penis sucked -- now imagine that feeling being destroyed right when it counts.

Bath Salts = INSANE SEX

This is essentially a hybrid of THIS video + THIS video, or in more comprehensive terms: 3 parts female empowerment, 141 parts bat-shit fucking retarded. ENJOY.

Land of the Fucking Dead

That feeling when you realize a backdoor studio in Japan with a $300 makeup budget is closer to the source material of the Resident Evil games than any official movie and whatever the fuck crawled out of Netflix headquarters put together. 2 thumbs up, would Jill off into my sandwich again.

Saving Sea Life

Watching [girls like this] bait the socially inept into a monthly subscription reminds me of a black widow documentary I once accidentally watched for 2 hours. All that's missing is David Attenboroughs voice and an invigorating supply of Cialis.

"Death to America"

This is siham. And what once was thought to be a single piss-poor decision has blossomed into a pattern of serious mental dysfunction. Her gimmick is basically r/politics except she actually makes money while posting. #GAG

CAMTASTROPHES #3

Kinda want to emphasize those gravity bags reaching maximum velocity around the 5:00 minute mark. Jell-o has spent over 100 years trying to market physics like this and have failed miserably in comparison. Turns out all you need is a 1-bedroom apartment in Latvia and a c-section scar to make math fun again.

"Say The N-Word Or Suck My Dick"

The "South Floridian's Guide To Dating Your Cousin" or Kylie Island dropping that new fetish DLC? You're probably waiting out the future aftermath videos from her now. The kind that can also be achieved by renting a John Deer tractor and filling her with Oxycontin. But where's the chivalry in that?

The Biggest Cuck on This Shitty Earth

AKA "How Donald overcame adversity and wifed the biggest whore in town" AKA "YOU GOT CUCKED THE FUCK OUT".

THIS WON'T LAST 24HRS

Blame it on the BBC

I guess this is what happens when your Netflix and Chill night turns into a solo adventure and you start organizing the "Foreign Girls That Like WuTang" sub-folder in your NUT directory. I don't know, I see more reasons you shouldn't cornhole wild life thanks to her constant deer-in-headlights reaction than I do sitcom legends. Thoughts?

The Luckiest Virgin On Earth

What in the cornbread skidmark hell is going on with this generation? Once upon a time having the genetic configuration of a Madagascar tomato frog would limit your partners to Walmart shoppers. Now? No one even pumps the brakes. Support [HERE] [HERE] and [HERE]

The Pump Master

Meet Scott Taylor. Today Scott is a well respected porn mogul, but that wasn't always the case. Flashback to the glory years of 1985 and witness the Billy Mays of penis pump salesmen.