World's 1st Cum Hating Pornstar

1,666,283 views

Aim for dry ground and let 'er rip. That's been the formula for centuries... until Krystal "i have standards" Steal showed up. You see, she has more apathy for body fluids than Paula Deen has for low fat potato chippies. Ever wonder what it would be like if KFC had an all-you-can-eat buffet? That's the kind of 'sounds fun but always ends bad' disappointment I'm talking about here.

Uploaded 09/24/17 LULZ

krystal steal, cum dodging, pornstar, fail

Prev Next

Porno Trainwreck of The Year!

A teenager down on her luck turns to porn for some quick cash to get back on her feet, but what follows is one of the worst porn spectacles I've ever seen.

3,374,423 views 02/19/17 Broke Model Teen

Never have I seen a man do something so incredibly vile with such charm. Where there's tension, he provides laughter. Where there's pain, he provides comfort. And where there's feces on the tip of his penis... he provides dinner.

8,320,180 views 12/19/12 LULZ

The Cam Whore Awards: Round Two

Once again we're honoring the best of the worst in the world of webcam modeling. Where cute crazy bitches and really weird dudes are willing to stab at their own kidneys for our amusement and tokens.

2,195,948 views 09/04/13 Camwhores Camwhores

"CRIPPLE MY WIFE"

20,892 views 04/28/24

Shit Pornstars Say 4

I imagine this is what happens when all of your knowledge of the English language comes from Pizza Hut commercials and TikTok. In fact, I may have just uncovered a form of communication so useless that California colleges might start offering 4-year degrees in it.

1,807,205 views 10/13/20 Shit Pornstars Say

i aM vErY iNteLLiGeNt

Tori Spelling's Guatemalan tit job, the hole in a Walmart bathroom stall and discounted Hamburger Helper on Craigslist: Three things I'd touch before signing up for story time from Rebel "my brain is bigger than my butthole" Lynn ever fucking again.

2,118,963 views 01/12/18 James Deen LULZ

When in Thailand...

~~Dave~~ Corey snapchatted his Bangkok vacation experience with a ladyboy. Corey is now a living legend.

5,043,278 views 09/12/16 Tranny

The Biggest Cuck on This Shitty Earth

AKA "How Donald overcame adversity and wifed the biggest whore in town" AKA "YOU GOT CUCKED THE FUCK OUT".

2,478,099 views 09/05/16 Cuckold

The Most Embarrassing Public Ejaculation Ever

A run of the mill twerking competition is won in an epic land slide when little miss hair extensions makes the guy jizz himself. For her legendary feat Shaquanda is awarded the illustrious title and like fitty bucks.

2,985,774 views 04/22/14 Premature

Awkward Moments In Porn 5

Special shout out to clip #12. For those of you that have never had the luxury of riding a San Fransisco BART train between the hours of 12:00AM and 11:59PM, you just got second hand experienced special delivered by Aunt Jemima herself.

5,246,400 views 06/23/15 Awkward Moments In Porn

CAMTASTROPHES #8

First attempts at delivering a beat down in meat town [1:53], a possible Resident Evil 4 cosplay [3:27] and a language barrier so ridiculous I might have to give the girl her own special section on this site in the future. [4:17] If your Tinder profile doesn't have the words butt poosy fuck on it, why even try?

1,523,692 views 04/17/23 CAMTASTROPHES

Lonely Arab REALLY Wants Free Head

Working the graveyard shift usually sucks Golden Retriever dick, but it's not entirely absent of perks. During my tenure at the 24 hour Rite Aid, I enjoyed a 10% increase in pay and unadulterated access to the ice cream station. But as for complimentary blowjobs from tresspassing prostitutes... that one's all up to this smooth talking Apu.

2,297,375 views 02/19/12 LULZ