A truly beautiful ballad about a girl that makes pterodactyl sex noises and a man that pulls off one of the most amazing sexual achievements ever filmed. I think we all wish we had a little Jimmy in us.
Marvel in the majestic awe of unwanted facials, oral insemination's from men lacking fruit in their diet and other tales of shifty cum dodgers. These girls hate jizz like I hate the season finale of Dexter.
She just turned eighteen two months ago and got into porn as soon as possible. She never thought this would happen but luckily her co-star has some comforting words for her.
Ever wonder how these girls are able to accommodate penises large enough to legally require airbags? HINT: They take painkillers. Lots of 'em. And I'm not talking about the kind that leave you looking like the cover of Alison Arngrim's “Heeere's Amy". (look it up)
Little engines that just fucking couldn't. If there was a "Special Olympics" for sexual performance, these guys would still be the underdogs of the league. The other retards would prolly bully them.
I gotta say; supreme vag on the redhead. Haven't seen a pair of lips that impressive since the time I got caught with a VHS rip of Fast Times at Ridgemont High and the last jar of Smuckers Sweet Orange Marmalade. Mother's Day hasn't been the same since.
A scene gets a little too intense for Lexi when her costar bitch slaps the valtrex out of her face. After which her costar turned assailant keeps asking her "are you ok?"
Bootstrapping your pretend family members: Apparently it's the stepping stone for every 40-something female that wants to pursue the world of porn. Most women have enough respect to decline the offer, but mom has a different approach...
Here’s another horrifying example of simp culture; The pussification of the hopeless male in the form of extracurricular CBT. What the fuck is going on here? Ogling strange women at the tune of a months worth of paychecks used to be a respectable form of entertainment. Now? Its just another girl boss moment.
What happens in Mexico Chile gets filmed with a potato by cartel members drunk off corona lights. For some guys that love beheading the locals and smuggling drugs in their butts, they sure have weak stomachs.
A rousing assembly of women that don't believe teh night is over until their clout levels have reached unmeasurable proportions. Reminiscent of a reoccurring dream I keep having involving Brock Lesnar and Long John Silver’s Cocktail Sauce.
