Seriously what the fuck is that

Interracial Blowbang Confessions

"Django the Fifth's Revenge" is the story of a self-proclaimed "black cock slut" on a mission. Notice the highly viscous load of seminal fluid dangle dancing off her chin the whole scene.

Worse Than Taking A Horse?

First the extra terrestrial, and now this Silent Hill sub-boss is getting more action on the field than the Minnesota Vikings? I don't know what the fuck is going on recently, but eventually this behavior is going to involve the fire department.

Stronger than Viagra

Found this gem in the Italian film "Capodanno in Casa Curiello", which roughly translates to "New Years at Grandpa's House". Think combining the gothic undertones of The Adam's Family with the threatening erections of Boogie Nights wouldn't work? You thought wrong faggit.

Jimmy the Virgin Becomes a Man

Just what in the fucking Doogie Howser, M.D. are we witnessing here? I'd give him the big W for going the distance... but no amount of THOT slaying in the world is going to change the unfortunate genetic make up of that boogie board he calls a body. Congrats?

Orgasm Induced Seizures: A Rare Phenomenon

Internet webcam hooker Bella Alice appears to suffer from acute reflex seizures triggered by sexual climax. She also uses a sound activated dildo that vibrates when people tip her which is funny af.

Lost My Virginity To A Pornstar

He came packing a mullet, social-awkwardness and the bodytype/skintone of a marsh mellow with prescription glasses. But that day back in 1998, he was a God for 10 minutes at a gentleman's club in Arkansas.

Dismantling an 80lb Pornstar

This girl might as well be the Napoleon Dynamite of fetish videos. (read: perfection). Doesn't even need to be penetrated. Just watching life flash before her eyes in between each fault line cracking was enough to keep my Fruit of the Looms soggy.

Uncle Dick-Dont-Fit

Sonuva bitch... dude's packing the kind of penis that can only be described as "an emergency every time I have to take a piss". Time to call up AARP and find out what size wheelbarrow they're willing to cover for this kind of disability. Something in a dual-wheel polycarbon should do it.

13 INCHER = RIDICULOUS ORGASM

Two petite Asians get the fried rice fucked out of em.

"CRIPPLE MY WIFE"

The 24 Year Old FEMALE Virgin II

What's life's greatest mystery? god? aliens? why Lionsgate allows Tyler Perry to continue directing films? How about how the fuck this 46 year old poster boy for NAMBLA managed to pull a Russian model half his age, only to vow abstinence for half a fucking decade?

Double Anal Downfall

It's like the girl with the super hip mom that totally supports her daughter getting ring-blasted by guys named after sports cars got a pep talk and couldn't wait to bring it on the grid iron. Then gets jobbed out like the 2008 Detroit Lions. A Karen of the Kum world if you will. TY for listening to my cunTED talk.