He Only Has One Rule

Cumming On Dead Girls

Some will say this is in awful taste or porn of dead girls is weird and maybe they're right but this is like any other athlete or artist memorial montage. A cautionary tribute to the dead rockstars of porn. RIP. 24/7 support for all industry performers.

Uncomfortable Moments in Porn

Emphasis on the 2nd clip. I laughed, I cried, I wondered if this was the backup plan for Cliff Hanger 2 if Stallone's medicine cabinet ran out of human growth hormone. And now you get to experience the same thing for the ultra low price of $0.00. Suck it Apple Vision Pro.

The Luckiest Virgin On Earth

What in the cornbread skidmark hell is going on with this generation? Once upon a time having the genetic configuration of a Madagascar tomato frog would limit your partners to Walmart shoppers. Now? No one even pumps the brakes. Support [HERE] [HERE] and [HERE]

Interracial Blowbang Confessions

"Django the Fifth's Revenge" is the story of a self-proclaimed "black cock slut" on a mission. Notice the highly viscous load of seminal fluid dangle dancing off her chin the whole scene.

The Life of Mammals

Pairing a guy that looks like he spends the weekend trading anti-lesbian meatloaf recipes over AOL chatrooms, with a girl that gets so purple she should be asking "where's Ronald?" doesn't seem like a contender for documentary of the year. But then you hear who's narrating it.

It Finally Happened

I've sat through 8 billion brother fucker incest storylines, the desecration of an icon and whatever the fuck this is. That being said, it's comforting to know I can still find astonishment in the super weeb fever dream you're about to witness. Good luck.

Prostitute Lasts Only 28 Seconds

Technically she lasted closer to 10, but this guy isn't very fluent in "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO", so that mahogany-stained browneye got pounded for a few more Missippi's than desired. Emphasis on mahogany-stained .

The Dumbest Shit Ever Said In Porn

Belladonna is down for dog cock, Proxy Paige wants to fuck her own mom, & Annette Schwarz gets wet thinking about vomiting on senior citizens. Goodbye okcupid.com, my search for companionship has been fulfilled.

SHUT UP AND FUCK MY FRIEND!

2023 Was Out of Fucking Control

As we head towards the final sunset of a year that gave more than one reason to disembowel our own eyeballs with a stinger missile, it's time we reflected. May 2024 bestow upon us more trolls, deeper holes and Twitch.com finishing it's metamorphosis into Chaturbate.

The 6 Levels of Cringe

Many a question will arise while shuffling through this one, but none more important than whatever comes out of your mouth around the 3:30 mark. Don't worry, you're not alone. I don't fucking know either.

Awkward Moments In Porn 7

Eight times pornography actually shocked me. Okay maybe just one time. Specifically #3. While the others have come and gone, this little gem remains unexplained.