Did I Just Do Anal.... IDK

19-years-old and RUINED

There's only two people on Earth that should never be caught fishing for brown trouts: Lindsay Lohan in her 'i'll snort Tide Pods' phase, and this chick. She's 19, anti-semen and dumber than a mailbox on Sunday. In other words: she was BORN for eFukt.

Wallflower Fucks Up Orgy

You ever show up for the orgy but just jerk off by yourself? Or have you ever managed to be cringier than a wannabe white rapper with a pick in his ginger afro? Yea... me either. YAY!

Creme Fraiche'd

Epic poker face @ .57 mark. I call this one the 'i totally just nutted in my own mouth but i dont even give a fuck cause i have a 6.7 inch penis and listen to Rage Against The Machine on vinyl' look. Dude's got that shit mastered.

THIS WON'T LAST 24HRS

8 Uncomfortable Moments

Consider this an open letter to the content creators out there: I will donate the $13.75 I made trading Krypto Kittys with down syndrome to a charity of your choosing, in exchange for promising to never use condiments on your wiener ever again. The balls are in your courts.

People are NOT Awesome 2014

Greatness can not exist without inferiority. Actually, maybe a better word could be used for the guy swinging around Mini Cooper in the last video. Either way; this is the side of humanity YouTube forgot to tell you about in their last year-in-review. #gag

The Most Obnoxious Cameraman in Porno History

To find a man truly worthy of this title we must dig deep into the early days of internet pornography. A time when potato quality was top notch and only took 2 hours to download.

Bro Shits Himself After Knocking Girl Out

panic; pan·ic1; noun; sudden uncontrollable fear or anxiety, often causing wildly unthinking behavior.

The Man With Two Dicks

Being born with a deformity is horrible, until you consider the possibility of having two big fully functioning cocks. In that case, it's winning the genetic lottery and gaining super human sexual abilities at birth. Finally a hero the internet deserves. Read more here.

Psychotic 18 Year Old Terrorizes Strangers

One of those rare moments where I can overlook the obvious health code violations because the performance is legendary. Be sure to leave them a ★★★★★ Yelp review. Something along the lines of: Service was fast. Getting pubic lice was faster.

The Worst of OnlyFanz IX

Today's episode isn't about the money. It's about sending a message. Specifically to the derelicts that have used the Riemann hypothesis and Swinnerton-Dyer conjecture to justify paying for what you're about to see: Stop it. Get some help.

The Worst Male Orgasms EVER 1

Door Dash your chimichangas and fire up the Demi Lovato playlist, for you are about to witness the pinnacle of peak male performance. Not since the 2017 inauguration have I heard this many vegan-powered war cries go unanswered lol