Calling an Audible

The Worst Tattoos in Porn 2023

For fuck sakes, these dorks could've thrown a dart at any billboard in Las Vegas and found better ideas to attach to their bodies permanently. I haven't seen people this far out of their comfort zones since the launch of Burger King's ultimate breakfast platter.

Cum Haters 2020

It's that time of year again. When degenerate girls jacked to the tits in daddy issues insist on doing it for tha gram but end up frail, fucked and forgotten. Not since the days of blindly acquiring porn ala 5600 baud Limewire have I come across a female with such anti-seminal fortitude.

Creme Fraiche'd

Epic poker face @ .57 mark. I call this one the 'i totally just nutted in my own mouth but i dont even give a fuck cause i have a 6.7 inch penis and listen to Rage Against The Machine on vinyl' look. Dude's got that shit mastered.

Shit Pornstars Say 4

I imagine this is what happens when all of your knowledge of the English language comes from Pizza Hut commercials and TikTok. In fact, I may have just uncovered a form of communication so useless that California colleges might start offering 4-year degrees in it.

The Dangers of Webcamming

It's kinda refreshing to know the cam-clam game has stayed relevant amongst the rise of OnlyFans popularity. Never forget the O.G. sex workers that paved the way via 56k modem bitrate and school libraries. Now let's go ahead and get these ladies under contract for the next Ghostbusters reboot. I smell Oscars.

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

"We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give." - Winston Churchill

The Worst of OnlyFanz III

Tripling down on a sub-culture that has defied all odds and normalized paying for content less interesting than giving Betty White 15 unsupervised minutes with a lawn sprinkler. These hype machines never seem to deliver. But the ones that come up really short? These might get a nut or 5 out of you. [PART I] [PART II]

Horrors of Pornography Personified

Today is my old man yells at cloud moment as I inform you that a two foot garden gnome being yoinked out of a woman's lower digestive system makes me feel like the golden age of adult entertainment is long behind us. They truly just don't make them like they used to. It's over.

10 WTF Momentz in Pornography

Twice as many as five porn scenes that leave you with more questions than answers and more confusion than boners.

A Crash Course in BBC

If the west side of Chicago had it's own edition of Rosetta Stone, I imagine it would look something like this. Undoubtedly the most abuse I've seen an Italian take since Rocco was subjected to this fucking trainwreck for 30 minutes lmao.

GIRL HAS DELAYED ORGASM

We're all too familiar with premature ejaculators, but what about latent ejaculation? Watch as Sum Dum Ho starts cumming an entire minute after intercourse is completed without even being touched. WTF?

CAUGHT CHEATING AGAIN