Ahh, the beautiful girls that fap for internet money. It's a stressful job full of internet chat trolls and dildos that need a power outlet. Understandably they can sometimes freak out a bit.
Imagine reaching a point in your life where fantasies just aren't doing it for you anymore, so you unleash an even deeper mental illness and create some sort of hybrid, cabbage patch fuck dance home videos and think not hiding your identity is a good idea. This is that point.
We all have a calling. It may not be skeet shooting Reddi Wip's finest, or hitting a PB in Super Mario 64. But for homeboy at the 6:25 mark replicating what he saw on Discovery Channel's Rise of Warrior Chimps, life finally has a purpose. More: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-] [-4-] [-5-] [-6-] [-7-] [-8-]
A special service bulletin for the female viewer(s). Next time you feel like exposing your rotten tator tot to the general public, read a couple chapters of Everything I Know About Women I Learned From My Tractor by Roger Welsch first. Maybe you'll find what's missing in your life.
We as humans are at the fuckin' highest point of civilization we've ever achieved. Our technology is more advanced than ever before in history and recently, we put a dildo in orbit... Welcome to the new age.
Watch as emo Helga Pataki dirty talks Jimmy Noodle Legs during a hot coitus session. Turns out Jenny from Forest Gump isn't the only suicidal girl down for banging immobilized mental midgets.
I'm all for testing boundaries, but caution should be advised if you want to attempt any of these yourself. Tip: When testing those Special Team plays you saw online, it's best to practice first. PROOF: The $4500 bill I have for buying this.
Kristina Bella becomes self-aware. Leya Falcon gives back to her community. Audrey Hempburn is currently on the run from Twitter And Veronica Leal... well, let's just say Ze Machine knows how to keep the romance going. You'll see.
