Contemplating Life Decisions

Contemplating Life Decisions

Uploaded 03/26/18
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Unacceptable Devices V

If there's one thing that never fails to get me questioning the future of this whole human race experiment; it's what the most unassuming person will consider a sexual accessory. So here's about 6 of them. That's right, six. As in the number of times I replayed the noise that Pringles can made when ricocheting off her head.

YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG

Here's some wisdom I picked up while watching an infomercial for Tony Little's Gazelle Sprintmaster - always maintain good form. Sloppy form is how people get killed. Don't think the same is applicable to sucking dick? Neither did she.

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Sorry, My Penis is Broken

General Zod experiences performance anxiety.

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WARNING: Contents Under Pressure

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11/22/17 MHBHJ Orgasms

Random Guys Try to Fuck a Pornstar

Do their porno dreams come true? Fuck no. Instead, four average-ass mother fuckers attempt to make sex with the prestigious Christy Mack, and each and every one of them brutally embarrasses themselves.

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panic; pan·ic1; noun; sudden uncontrollable fear or anxiety, often causing wildly unthinking behavior.

04/26/12 Brazzers Fail

Pushed Over the Edge

Zero evidence of her chromosome count, but judging by this performance it's safe to say we're working with a surplus here. Not exactly a stark contrast for this website, but next time I want a female performance to leave me softer than a bowl of cotton candy I'll just turn on Impact Wrestling.

06/26/23 Asians

Incest Isn't Best

At this point, self-aware cousin fuckers really deserves their own sub-genre. Decades of inbreeding and limiting toothbrush ownership to 1-per-household has carved itself into a niche that I can only describe as recession proof Walmart porn.

07/14/22 Teen

Rare Lost Footage Finally Leaks

Honestly, after making it to the end of this $27.00 budgeted shit show I'm inclined to believe the historical artifact should have stayed forgotten. The full version is over an hour long and makes The Blair Witch Project look like it's part of the Scorsese catalog. I do not recommend.

05/22/25 WTF

CAMTASTROPHES #13

Every day, everywhere you look people are spamming fears of USD collapse and political discourse. While I'm over here waiting for things like this to start happening in Chipotle parking lots during daytime hours again. #boomer #oldfashioned

07/25/24 CAMTASTROPHES

Shy, Scared & Fucking Beautiful

Hot chicks + social anxiety. It's a phenomenal combination, second only to Mr. Pibb w/ Koala Yummies. Add a degree of sexual inexperience into the mix and you got yourself GF material, provided that they don't first end up in porn like this tard.

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