Slap That Dick

Slap That Dick

Uploaded 08/06/14
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The 6 Levels of Cringe

Many a question will arise while shuffling through this one, but none more important than whatever comes out of your mouth around the 3:30 mark. Don't worry, you're not alone. I don't fucking know either.

05/08/23 WTF

GIRL HAS DELAYED ORGASM

We're all too familiar with premature ejaculators, but what about latent ejaculation? Watch as she starts cumming an entire minute after intercourse is completed without even being touched. WTF?

sAdisTic DJ sEtS girL on FIRE!

Apparently this is common in the grottos of Nigeria. I'm not so sure about it's entertainment value though. Some will look at this and see the peak of female empowerment... all I see is a barbecue even Homer fucking Simpson himself would've RSVP to.

08/19/17 WTF

Unacceptable Devices IV

The downside to treating your asshole as a source of income? Every time you get done colonizing the dark planet, somebody comes along and insists on outdoing you. I'm talking the kind of miscreant that would mount a Brontosaurus if it meant doubling her OnlyFans subs (4:25 mark). [DISCUSS HERE]

The Absolute Worst of Pornhub IX

A solid plot line can make up for just about anything: Bad acting, low budgets, the marionette scene in Terrifier 2. But this assortment of genetic defects? They've got digital footprints like Tom Cruise has regressive Aspergers, and I don't know when this fucking ride is gonna end.

Real Casting Couch

Of all the ways to "tELL mE uR fRoM nEw jErSeY wiThOuT tELLinG mE uR fRoM nEw jErsEy" this actually ranks #2 on the list. Our duo is still 1 deep fried oreo enema away from the gold medal. Shoot for the stars.

Middle-Aged Woman Terrorizes Locals

Were you also gifted the sexual prowess of a polar bear on methamphetamines at birth? Well that only leaves 1 path for you to take in life. So if you share this lady's disposition, consider alternatives to Tinder. I'm thinking Farmersonly, without the farmers. Feel me?

01/24/22 Public

I don't remember this in RoboCop

Turns out the 1987 original was supposed to be even more violent. With the new remake getting a PG-13 rating, with it comes the almost certainty to destroy the ultra-violent badass awesomeness of RoboCop and change him into a SFW metal pussy. Source: Ourrobocopremake.com

02/07/14 Parody

Live Stream Meltdowns

Ahh, the beautiful girls that fap for internet money. It's a stressful job full of internet chat trolls and dildos that need a power outlet. Understandably they can sometimes freak out a bit.

My Mom's Sex Addiction

Bootstrapping your pretend family members: Apparently it's the stepping stone for every 40-something female that wants to pursue the world of porn. Most women have enough respect to decline the offer, but mom has a different approach...

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