More insanity from the porno-terrorists known as the Japanese. Screen caps and shitty clips of this have floated around the net for years but I finally got a full HD copy.
Meet Allen. At almost 50 years old, he's never had sex and is on the verge of losing all hope. Now it's up to a $400 goth hooker with a heart of gold to help him lose his virginity once and for all... or will he fuck it all up?
This is essentially a hybrid of THIS video + THIS video, or in more comprehensive terms: 3 parts female empowerment, 141 parts bat-shit fucking retarded. ENJOY.
Three years later and it seems [-our boy-] has ditched the mashed potatoes recipe and moved on to crafting a signature carne asada. ¿Felicidades mi amigo?
Welcome to the far east, a place where vaginas are never shaved but always multi purpose. A place where a nice business man can get a sake and light a cigar off a strippers vagina. Fun times.
Consider this the advanced users only section of the Internet. And nothing spells T-A-C-T-I-C-A-L A-D-V-A-N-T-A-G-E quite like a woman that could literally use a Volkswagen Golf as a dildo. If you're not into safe spaces being invaded... this one isn't for you.
Bittersweet painal, obscenity-filled ogasms, and a boob job pre-dating the birth of jesus. This ones got it all, and Ms. Big Ole Leathery Funbags earns some serious bonus points at the 2:35 mark.. Not even a fuckin rectal injury can dull her desire for ATM.
Anybody have the technical name for this phenomenon? or a real explanation? Specifically one that doesn't involve voodoo dolls, Penn & Teller or Planet Wing's suicide sauce. I want answers.
Arnost and his 1 inch mosquito bite take a nosedive into humiliation whilst trying to perform in front of a live studio audience. Sorry friendo, but I think it's best you take that CHUD haircut and make your way back to the subreddit you done crawled up out of.
At this point, self-aware cousin fuckers really deserves their own sub-genre. Decades of inbreeding and limiting toothbrush ownership to 1-per-household has carved itself into a niche that I can only describe as recession proof Walmart porn. Ohio sends it's regards.
Blue-balled midgets, schizophrenic autists, Miley Cyrus' fan base... this woman's sexual clientele is more well-rounded than IHOP's farmhouse breakfast. Unfortunately there's no visuals of penetration. But what it lacks in nightmares... it makes up for in California's voting pool.
