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Czech porn is hilariously horrible

What does a Toyota Supra, backwoods and a washer machine have in common? In most cases, absolutely fucking nothing. But this isn't like most cases. This is Czech pornography, the final frontier in sexual retardation.

The Camwhore Awards

Another year has come and gone, so let's not forget to pay a much deserved tribute to the hardworking women of the porn industry. This one's for you, ladies.

Her G-Spot Is In Her Butthole

This actually starts off as a painal vid, but much like Cuba Gooding Jr.'s acting career, that only lasts for about 14 seconds. From there on it's all pleasure, and by 'pleasure' I mean nervous system-disabling assgasms so hot even Stephen Hawking would pop wood.

5 Stages Of Painal

#3 is quite adorable. She may not understand the consequences, but her facial expressions certainly have a story to tell.. namely "ouch, that hurts", "please hurry up" and "why in the fuck did I quit my job at Hotdog On A Stick for this shit". Live and learn baby.

09/07/12 Favorites

Would Not Hit

Much like Robocop 1-3, this goes from mildly erotic to fucking horrible pretty darn fast. Tipping point involves a Cambodian that apparently tried to high-five a weed wacker.

08/28/12 Amputee

cRaZy whore is cRaZy

What weighs 325 pounds, has hair worse than Phil Spector, and secretly enjoys getting karate-kicked in the appendix while ripping ass? This chick's 798th fuck buddy, and he's not even the worst of the bunch.

08/24/12 Rocco Siffredi LULZ

The Dumbest Shit Ever Said In Porn

Belladonna is down for dog cock, Proxy Paige wants to fuck her own mom, & Annette Schwarz gets wet thinking about vomiting on senior citizens. Goodbye okcupid.com, my search for companionship has been fulfilled.

07/30/12 Favorites

The Milf From Mars

Bittersweet painal, obscenity-filled orgasms, and a boob job predating the bicentennial. This ones got it all, and Ms. Big Ole Leathery Funbags earns some serious bonus points at the 2:35 mark.. Not even a fuckin rectal injury can dull her desire for ATM.

Girl Drops Deuce, Forgets To Wipe

Her ability to wipe her ass is on par with Tom Sizemore's ability to not beat women. Fortunately at least 1 person in this vid has some considerable talent, and that's the dude that miraculously didn't peel over & die after getting a whiff of her shit-box!

06/19/12 EvilAngel LULZ

Bath Salts = INSANE SEX

This is essentially a hybrid of THIS video + THIS video, or in more comprehensive terms: 3 parts female empowerment, 141 parts bat-shit fucking retarded. ENJOY.

06/12/12 LULZ

EPIC ASS IS EPIC

Undoubtedly the most erotic thing I've seen since the time my 19 y/o housekeeper cried 'no es bueno' after happening upon my unflushed shitter. Day before was Olive Garden night, fuckin Tour Of Italy. To quote Lil Wayne - I made it rain.

She Fucks Moolionairs

Fangirl shits pinecones after overhearing pornstar Brian Pumper refer to her as a 'bitch'. Blows are exchanged & shit gets ugly, but the real battle is all verbal, with ego-busting insults like "u think i wud tweet about u? I FUCK MOOLIONAIRES NIGGUH". Fucking brutal.

05/15/12 LULZ

Creme Fraiche'd

Epic poker face @ .57 mark. I call this one the 'i totally just nutted in my own mouth but i dont even give a fuck cause i have a 6.7 inch penis and listen to Rage Against The Machine on vinyl' look. Dude's got that shit mastered.

05/11/12 TeenBurg Fail

Bro Shits Himself After Knocking Girl Out

panic; pan·ic1; noun; sudden uncontrollable fear or anxiety, often causing wildly unthinking behavior.

04/26/12 Brazzers Fail

14 Incher Causes Gianna To Quit

I've never seen Gianna cave before, no matter how big the cock. It's as if her vaginal canal is made of Teflon, with more square footage than James Van Der Beek's forehead. But after watching this, I'm not so sure.

04/10/12 Favorites

Erectile Dysfunction... LIKE A BOSS

There's really nothing more emasculating than getting taunted over your sexual inadequacies, save for maybe your mom walking in on you as you spank it to Robin Williams in Jumanji. The point is... Jumanji is a great movie and unfairly disregarded.

04/02/12 LULZ

This Doesnt Make You Good At Sex

Not since the 2005 release of 1 Night In Chyna have I seen a woman with such a fucked up misunderstanding of eroticism. She grunts like pirate, pisses all over the place, and has a finishing act that'll assfuck your brain cells.

Frat Boys Troll 3 Pornstars Into Quitting

Nothing quite spells EFUKT like a supposed 'Navy Seal' turned male pornstar challenging 80+ CSUN students to a backyard brawl, whilst completely naked and armed with nothing but a slowly deflating boner. HAHA.

03/13/12 Fail

The Worst Cumshot Of All Time

This dude ejaculates Grey Poupon. Straight up. It's the most bedazzling shit I've seen since that picture of Mike Tyson appearing on a dog's asshole. Be sure to keep a towel handy in case you vomit and/or nut.

03/06/12 LULZ

Gianna PWNS Heckling Hector!

Dont let the bandana fool you. This cholo's 'tough guy' persona is about as real as his pleather jacket. Such is illustrated after Gianna does the unforgivable - an unconsensual snowball attack - which he takes like a total bitch. This is funny as fuck.

02/29/12 LULZ
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