Volume #5 in a collection of videos that Charlie Sheen would be ashamed to attach his name to. And without even a single appearance from a graduate of the Woodman School of Rectology, that's saying something.
It's always the same thing: Your favorite e-piece succumbs to the competition and proceeds to push her stream to the next level... only to deteriorate her street cred faster than my rectal lining at a Bangladeshi farmer's market.
Admittedly these are all pretty standard 'i drank 2 entire Coronas on spring break and had sex with a house plant' plot lines... but dude in the last clip has some explaining to do. Like, this is why I have to wear diapers at 27-years-old kind of explaining.
FORNICATION: It's pretty basic stuff. But for Goober McAutismo over here it might as well be mission impossible. What you're about to see may quite possibly be the worst excuse for sexual entertainment that's ever made it online... and that's coming from someone who sat through all 74 minutes of Edward Penishands. Twice.
Easily the most try-hard bogus bullshit performances I've seen since YouTube's 'social experiment' revolution went off the rails. I have to point out though: nobody was injured, student loans were paid and girl #1's convulsions can double as a permanent case study for epilepsy. #win
It's that special time where we honor the internet's most stand out virtual hookers. These clips highlight the dangers, struggles and accomplishments of a profession that's sure to be a future premise of a black mirror episode.
To all 19 active female viewers of this site: Break out the newtons and take some notes. This is what you DON'T DO to avoid becoming official Efukt alumni.
A five minute crash-course on how to squeeze every moment out of your favorite side piece, as illustrated by the shameless, the morally-deprived, and the defenders of all things Insane Clown Posse. It's priceless information really. Trust me on this one.
To my ever growing .08% female viewership: put on your bifocals and pay the fuck attention. This is what you DON'T do if you want that e-hooker money to keep coming in. Always keep calm, and save the estrogen-fueled temper tantrums for Buzzfeed articles.
Paying someone on the internet to watch you jerk off on webcam seems pathetic and sad overall, but this one has to hold back laughing when she see's this fuckin guys dick.
It's that time once again to highlight some special times in webcam hookerdom. Witness e-prostitutes having breakdowns, getting attacked by small reptiles and other awesome wtfness.
Another edition of ratchet sex tape fails featuring hood rat stuff like fire alarms with dying batteries, one lopsided illegal butt implant and other ghetto stuff.
This piece highlights some cases of shoulda locked the fucking door but I'm thinking with my genitals and other hilarious cases of people getting busted.
Enter the strange world of MyFreeCams. Where internet prostitutes webcam models do weird shit for cyber money, like sexually teasing the local pizza delivery guy. What could go wrong?
Another edition featuring triflin' ass hoes, hood rats of all kinds and a singing crack head with erectile problems. They call him Uncle Jim and he can do any unskilled miscellaneous task for the low-low.
Once again we're honoring the best of the worst in the world of webcam modeling. Where cute crazy bitches and really weird dudes are willing to stab at their own kidneys for our amusement and tokens.
Webcam models manage to overload a vibrator to the point of catastrophic electrical failure. Who would have thought masturbating with something connected to a 120 volt wall outlet could be dangerous?
