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Cum Haters 2019

Girls that agree to do porn + Refusing to take an ivory shower without a temper tantrum. An interesting combination, backseated only by Burger King's Quad Stacker + Charmin Ultra Soft. Sprinkle in a pinch of sexual anxiety and you got endless fap material my friends.

How to Seduce a Black Woman

Step 1: Have the genetics of a Ugandan warrior Step 2: The good mustard Step 3: Repeat

01/11/19 Strippers

New Year, New Me

You know at one point in time her dirt tulip at full pucker was still smaller than the cock of an Eskimo in January. I want to know where that footage is. And more importantly, the followup video of John McAfee announcing her as his running mate for 2020?

01/01/19 Bizarre

What A Workout 2

12/15/18

No Shame 2

12/12/18

The Most Eccentric Man on Pornhub

1. gold-phish 2. Speilberg 3. Coppola

12/07/18 Big Dicks

Ultra Alpha

Would Denmark Mafia be so kind as to turn the soundbyte at 0:24 into their next banger? That's the kind of collaboration that can fuel my beat-off sessions all the way into spring. More Woodman HERE and HERE.

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