Ginger Spice 2.0 straight up forgot to wipe her ass. She's got a shit-soaked thong that's leaking out malt balls left and right. What's awesome is the dumb motherfucker that decided to use his own finger to inspect the mysterious brown substance. Hepatitis C baby.
Russian bitch spazzes the fuck out for no apparent reason and then tries to claim she was just "acting." Yep, no better way to enhance a porn scene than by acting like an inbred with Tourettes syndrome.
Hmmm. Cant really blame the guy. If your wife looked like a cross between Rosanne and a lesbian hippopotamus... you'd probably explore other options too.
Every time her son's cock gets brought up, her eyes widen like someone in the drive-thru at Taco Bell. It's pretty creepy. Almost as creepy as that basketball-sized growth hanging from her mid section. Seriously, what the fuck is that?
He's about as good at rapping as I am at convincing fat chicks on Myspace that my semen tastes like Ben & Jerry's cake batter ice cream. Fucking oustanding.
Preggo girl is in the middle of cumming when her [minute] man declares that the apple sauce is en route for early delivery. She replies with a double "doo eet", which I believe means: "cum inside me so that I can finish my orgasm you twig dick motherfucker". The request didn't seem to catch.
I guess he figured that once she laid eyes on his 7 inch yankee doodle, she wouldn't be able to resist and that a 'happy ending' would ensue. The Motel 6 guy actually shared the same ideology. Too much late night Cinemax porn can really fuck with your head these days.
Snowballing? Fuck that. I'd rather toss my girlfriend's salad directly after shitting out 2 pounds of kung pao chicken than be orally introduced to my own man jam. Too many calories bro.
I'm always one step ahead of female biology. When I wanna ass fuck a woman, I simply lace her Cinnamon Toast Crunch with ex-lax. Come night fall, her cornhole is as empty as Tara Reid's head. Works every time.
The title is slightly inaccurate, I just felt like making a reference to that shitty Nick Cage movie. The reality of the situation is that this willy wonka can't even last 5 seconds. Getting to the 1 minute mark would be like an olympic achievement.
