My tenure in pornography has made witness to a lot of hopeless girls doing a lot of hopeless shit just to keep their Tampax bills paid. But essentially giving your fellow camstitutes the green light to cry their way to Efukt superstardom? That's a level of loyalty I didn't even know I wanted.
Blue-balled midgets, schizophrenic autists, Miley Cyrus' fan base... this woman's sexual clientele is more well-rounded than IHOP's farmhouse breakfast. Unfortunately there's no visuals of penetration. But what it lacks in nightmares... it makes up for in California's voting pool.
Internet webcam hooker Bella Alice appears to suffer from acute reflex seizures triggered by sexual climax. She also uses a sound activated dildo that vibrates when people tip her which is funny af.
Today's Menu: 1) Conor McGregor post-retirement 2) Ballin on a Budget 3) Hard Times Daddeh 4) The Mastadon Challenge 5) Contents Under Pressure 6) Always Get Your Moneys Worth
What's mine is yours. And what's yours makes her think walking away from that 4-year degree in Anthropological Gender Studies of Amazonian Tree Frogs to do this instead was a bad idea.
Symptom #293 you need to put an end to the all-turnip and MDMA diet: You develop the sex drive of a cinder block followed by the kind of speech impediment that could end a marriage in Alabama. But rather than seek Dr. Phil's help, you do this instead.
Much like Cardi B's popularity, one has to question why this even exists in and how we got here in the first place. Emphasis on the Oscar-award winning method acting seen in the opening dialogue. Simply brilliant.
11 Seconds: That's the average time it takes for one family-sized order of Chang's Orange Chicken to kick flip it's way out of my body and make it's way back to the manure farm. It's also the amount of time it takes the new poster girl for "LOLIDGAF" to get the official Efukt seal of approval. You're welcome.
Not the first video that's made me question the female body, but it may be the only Efukt feature that gets into a Bubballoo Gum commercial. People deserve a little reality on their television. Not Dwight Shrute hosting a swap meet in Frog Balls Arkansas. Now where's that royalty check?
Some men need oral stimulation to get off. Others, a $20 shopping spree at Buffalo Wild Wings. And then there's this Vlad the Impaler lookin' mother fucker who needs nothing more than basic silverware to send his himself over the big-O rainbow. Hint: May be better enjoyed while listening to this classic piece.
Sorry to all competing rookies out there trying to cover the Vagisil bill: This is the type of content you need to be producing now. Those glory days of not acting like somebody hooked a lawn mower battery to your fallopian tubes to get attention are over. Devon... get the Flex Tape.
She seems like a nice girl. The type that would throw herself off a post office rooftop if you missed her text, or fuck the mailman's chihuahua if your Instagram pic got 0 likes. But her taste in recreational activities? Shit, I've seen happier faces cleaning toilets at the Renaissance Fair.
Admittedly an Internet classic by every definition, so chances are you've already squeezed a hog or 3 to this unfaithful slootanany. But I've never seen this edit before so release the pigs and let's retrojack again for old times sake.
Did Mark McGrath admit to being a pedophile? Did a feminist bassist fist rape a minor? Why is Eve 6 throwing lunch meat at a hooker? Buffalo Billy? IDFK but I killed 50 bucks for this rare VHS on eBay and I have zero regrets.
