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Blumpkins Really Do Exist

Male pornstar goes where no male pornstar has gone before: to the bathroom... whilst getting his dick sucked. Sounded like a wet one too. Guess this ends the century-long debate that blumpkins are merely an object of fucked up folklore. Another score for modern civilization.

3,054,272 views 05/05/10 Fail

Time To Retire

I cant even imagine how many jackoff sessions came to a halt after this saggy-assed dinosaur stepped in front of the camera. How the fuck are you supposed to beat off when 50% of the screen is devoted to the puckering balloon knot of a gay porn veteran? Honestly...

3,854,502 views 04/25/10 Bizarre

Who Wants Lasagna

First he bulldozes her ass till his cock turns brown. Then he moves up an orifice and gives her twat some chocolate-coated TLC... which is pretty much guaranteed to result in a wicked case of vaginitis but lets not spoil the fun. All things come to an end after he asks the most amazing question ever uttered in a pornographic film - "who wants lasagna?"

3,335,880 views 03/21/10 LULZ

I'll Fuck You Up

Russian bitch spazzes the fuck out for no apparent reason and then tries to claim she was just "acting." Yep, no better way to enhance a porn scene than by acting like a demonic crackwhore with Tourette syndrome.

3,462,909 views 02/28/10 Fail

Cornhole Destruction

She screams "ow!" 87 times in the span of 3 minutes. The quality may be crap but you really cant complain with numbers like that.

2,395,678 views 02/22/10 Painal

There Goes My Porn Career

Full video available from BangBros.

3,880,367 views 02/06/10 Bangbros Premature

Porno Accidente

Guess what goes wrong.

4,707,191 views 02/01/10 Fail

How Pornstars Get Pinkeye

The jizz of a black man infused with rectal juice? That's like fuckin battery acid. Kiss yo 20/20 vision goodbye bitch!

3,384,162 views 01/08/10 Fail

OOPS! Wrong Hole!

I'd be pretty amazed/disappointed if that didn't at least cause a little internal bleeding. Emphasis on disappointed.

5,554,802 views 11/22/09 Wrong Holes

He'll Never Do Porn Again

Failure to achieve erection OR premature ejaculation. Those are the top 2 problems most men face when trying to perform on camera. It's usually one or the other... but in this chumps case - 2 birds are killed with 1 very tiny stone.

3,145,139 views 11/17/09 Premature

Anal Creampie From Hell

It's crazy. On the outside, assholes all look the same. But if your rectum was to ever head south & emerge as a pink-sock... you'd quickly find that much like the butt plugs in Oprah Winfrey's sextoy collection, they come in all shapes, sizes and colors. 4 years of running a porn site and that's about all I've learned.

1,852,080 views 11/11/09 Prolapse

Bitch! You Broke My Dick!

Fuck porn, she belongs in MMA.

3,763,822 views 11/04/09 Fights

Yo No Quiero Butt Fuck

I posted this awhile back but the clip was ruined by god awful Mexican music. Luckily an alternative version has now surfaced. Less Ricky Martin. More cries of pain.

2,043,989 views 10/20/09 Painal

Quit Fapping & GTFO

I guess he figured that once she laid eyes on his 7 inch yankee doodle, she wouldn't be able to resist and that a 'happy ending' would ensue. The Motel 6 guy actually shared the same ideology. Too much late night Cinemax porn can really fuck with your head these days.

3,543,619 views 10/09/09 Exhibition

The Most Miserable Pornstar Ever

Pretty sure I once saw this chick in a humanitarian commercial for Yugoslavian orphans. It's hard to forget a facial expression like that.... especially after fappin to it for 3 consecutive months.

2,255,977 views 10/07/09 Fail

Molested At Lunch Time

This is a scene from some stupid French porno called The Image. Stars that old bitch from 101 Dalmations as some sort of empowered cunt that likes to dominate. Kinda funny but not really my cup of tea. I was raised on the notion that degradation is a man's job.

1,796,608 views 09/16/09 Groped

Macho Man Cries From Anal

This is FUCKING HILARIOUS.

1,719,620 views 08/29/09 Painal

Pornstar Quits Over Farting Incident

This is a scene from MEATHOLES, which was basically one of the most extreme porn sites on the web back in 2003-ish. It's funny. This girl can handle a fist up her cunt while the cameraman inquires about her childhood, but let one slip in her face and that's where she draws the line.

2,796,203 views 08/19/09 Meatholes Fail

Pornstar Hates Semen

No one said you had to like it baby. Just sit back, open wide and think about all the Baja Chalupas you'll be able to buy as soon as you're done. That's what gets me through the day.

1,522,242 views 08/17/09 Cum Haters

America's Next Top Pornstar

You stuttering, premature ejaculating son of a gun. Peter North and Ron Jeremy are already packing their bags.

1,656,061 views 08/16/09 Premature
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