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Stripper Pwns Her Audience

Stripper fills her colon up to the brim with some cheap booze and takes aim at all the assholes that didn't tip her. I have to say, as an owner of Super Soaker Aqua Blaster 2000, I'm impressed. Bitch knows how to work it.

07/14/10 Strippers

Threesome Fail

Dude gets kicked out of a sex club after breaking an unwritten rule against blowing your load on other people's girlfriends. Yep. You can slam fuck her till she screams bloody murder, just dont get any semen on her brah. Shit aint cool.

07/12/10 Fail

DP Fail

One in the pink, another in the stink. That was the plan up until Gilligian and his clumsy noodle fucked it all up. You see, his cock fell off course and wandered south, resulting in an unexpected double vadge penetration - a sex move that didn't even exist at the time. Why are the most important discoveries in life always accidental?

07/12/10 Fail

Gay Thugs Ruin Porno Shoot

A fist fight breaks out just before a mass interracial orgy was set to take place. Dolemite subdues one of the offenders by infiltrating his underpants and obtaining a vice-like grip on the dudes cornhole. Technique courtesy of San Quentin state prison.

07/01/10 Fights

Lemme Smell Yo Dick

One of the shittiest XXX films I've seen in my time... edited down to a cool 60 seconds. It's nothing amazing but fuck... it's got a plot revolving around accusations of sheep sex and worse acting than a Segal flick. How could I not post it?

06/27/10 Vintage

Dildo Causes Internal Damage

After straddling a butt plug as thick as a tree trunk, this chicks rectum starts oozing out blood like Owen Wilson's wrists after making another shitty movie.

Earthworm Jim

A parasite most commonly found in dog shit has taken up residence in the cornhole of this Salvadoran hooker. Not much of a step up but what's amazing is how this dumb bitch shits it out in the middle of her pay-per-view camshow without even realizing it. NOE ES BUENO.

06/17/10 LULZ

Masculinity Fail

Dude sobs like a little bitch after his sexual advances get shot down by a midol-deficient cam. Cue theme song from Family Matters. No wait, scratch that. I got a much better song in mind. Watch and see.

06/17/10 LULZ

I No Longer Hate Clowns

I was really expecting this chick to have one of those inconspicuous, slit-like vaginas.... not a corned beef gash [as depicted in picture #2]. Still hot as fuck though. She just needs to lay down some Crest Whitening Strips on that labia minora and she be aight. SOURCE: Lexi Belle

06/08/10 Gallery

Is It In Yet

Hector and his 2.5 inch pop gun (their measurements, not mine) get an earful of criticism after disappointing a gang of size queens... and nailing himself in the forehead with his own payload. Sorry friend but I think it's best you take your cocktail sausage and head on back to that strawberry field you done crawled up out of.

06/07/10 FuckTeamFive LULZ

Homo Fail

As if getting reamed up the ass by a 300 pounder isn't bad enough, this gangster gets bonked in the head by random shit falling out the sky. The shrapnel of love.

05/30/10 Fail

Surfer Bro Cums In 30 Seconds!

Stick to riding waves bud. Fucking bitches on camera ain't your thing. #Cowabunga

NO ME GUSTA JIZZUM!

I don't know what's funnier: the fact that a professional cocksmith accidentally blew his load in the middle of a lap dance or her facial expression after getting blasted with man sauce. Both are most definitely Kodak moments.

Blumpkins Really Do Exist

Male pornstar goes where no male pornstar has gone before: to the bathroom... whilst getting his dick sucked. Sounded like a wet one too. Guess this ends the century-long debate that blumpkins are merely an object of fucked up folklore. Another score for modern civilization.

05/05/10 Fail

WTF Is That Cum

Lesbo noob is dumbfoudned after her partner lets out a sloppy wet orgasm.

04/29/10 Fail

Even Jocks Premature Ejaculate

Contrary to his appearance, endurance really isn't this chumps specialty. To call him a minute-man would be a compliment. But all of that's okay when you have big muscles.

04/26/10 Premature

Time To Retire

I cant even imagine how many jackoff sessions came to a halt after this saggy-assed dinosaur stepped in front of the camera. How the fuck are you supposed to beat off when 50% of the screen is devoted to the puckering balloon knot of a gay porn veteran? Honestly...

04/25/10 Bizarre

The Pencil Test

Ouch. As if being born a ginger wasn't bad enough, this Irish Setter has a set of knockers that look a lot like deflated weather balloons.

04/18/10 LULZ

A Gangbang Before Marriage

The love of your life just had her brains fucked out by a 1000 different scumbags and now you feel the urge to tie the knot? LOL. Happy honeymoon guy!

04/14/10 LULZ

The Result Of A Real Orgasm

Take notes.

04/12/10 Orgasms
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