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Dildo Shotgun

10/02/14

Live Stream Meltdowns

Ahh, the beautiful girls that fap for internet money. It's a stressful job full of internet chat trolls and dildos that need a power outlet. Understandably they can sometimes freak out a bit.

Dildo Sword

06/03/14

Luckiest Guy at the Strip Club

In the bowels of Brazil a.k.a. the other other Mexico, a local stripper gives a weary traveler an experience he'll never forget... if he can remember. He goes home with a dildo souvenir so he'll definitely know something went down that night. #YOLO

05/08/14 Public

Porn Scenes Worthy of an Oscar 3

The amazing thing? Multiple people thought these were good ideas and put a whole lot of effort into them. I.E. the guy who had to cut a dick hole in a giant Wheaties box or the man controlling the giant octopus dildo tentacles.

OOPZ, LOST TEH DILDO

Losing an 8 inch dildo in in a girls ass can have some consequences beyond fecal flavoring. If you can't get it out, the shoot is over and it's an awkward trip to the hospital with an unhappy porn star.

02/04/14 21Sextury Fail

The Absurdity of Japanese Pornography

A "last man standing" circle jerk to the death. After decades of being forced to censor genitals, Japanese smut producers have lost their minds.

11/14/13 JAVHD Asians

First Sex Toy In Space

We as humans are at the fuckin' highest point of civilization we've ever achieved. Our technology is more advanced than ever before in history and recently, we put a dildo in orbit... Welcome to the new age.

10/23/13 Bizarre

Lost My Virginity To A Pornstar

He came packing a mullet, social-awkwardness and the body type/skin tone of a marsh mellow with prescription glasses. But that day back in 1998, he was a hero for 10 minutes at a gentleman's club in Arkansas.

10/20/13 LULZ

Porn Scenes Worthy of an Oscar 1

Todays menu: a.) girl manipulates dad into oral sex while mom contemplates suicide b.) leper fucks ass, leper's winky gets decapitated, leper continues to fuck ass anyway and c.) vintage porn, never fuck with a man that's just lost a game of Old Maid.

Brazillian Fucks 600 Men For Nothing!

She took in 596 cocks, ended up with a vagina darker than deep water and lost a $50,000 grand prize to some Ukranian POLISH skag. But on a more positive note, she actually looks surprisingly hot.

11/11/11 LULZ

Delivery Dude Jizzes His Pants

This is Holly Hanna. She's 19, hot as fuck, and has a penchant for giving Papa John's employee's epic boners. Today she ups the stakes by not only answering the door butt fuckin nekkid, but with a dildo crammed up her little turd cutter. Pay a visit to her page and show some love.

05/23/11 Exhibition

Fuck Me Like You're Mad

Trashy blonde high off Febreeze channels some standard white-woman fantasies through her dearly beloved Cletus, with the help of an industrial strength dildo. But the real trophy here inst her orgasm. It's his. Herpa derp, double time.

03/01/11 Orgasms

LOL Sexual Inferiority

Ya know what... when you're stuck with 4.2 inch weiner and the endurance of that fat fuck from ABC's Lost... propositioning a random big-dicked black dude to bang your wife really might not be all that great of an idea.

08/17/10 Premature

Dildo Causes Internal Damage

After straddling a butt plug as thick as a tree trunk, this chicks rectum starts oozing out blood like Owen Wilson's wrists after making another shitty movie.

I Lost My Virginity To A Dog

Perhaps my logic in somewhat flawed - but you'd think that someone who's devoted their life to sucking animal dick would at least have the courtesy to convert to vegetarianism. You heartless bitch.

03/10/10 LULZ

Hung Like Bart Simpson

Dildo Baggins here could've saved himself a lot of embarrassment if he just stayed home and stuck to beating off to reruns of Captain Planet. Now he and his 4 inch celery stick have ended up on the world wide web for all to see and laugh at. Live and learn brooo.

11/27/09 FuckTeamFive LULZ
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