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Shrek

Ouch. Time to cue "dont you wish your girlfriend was hot like me".

09/22/10

Feminist Attacks Cocky Stripper

Dude shoves his junk in the wrong chicks face. First she smacks his cock like a cheap pinata, then follows up with an ashtray to the face.

DP Fail

One in the pink, another in the stink. That was the plan up until Gilligian and his clumsy noodle fucked it all up. You see, his cock fell off course and wandered south, resulting in an unexpected double vadge penetration - a sex move that didn't even exist at the time. Why are the most important discoveries in life always accidental?

07/12/10 Fail

Lemme Smell Yo Dick

One of the shittiest XXX films I've seen in my time... edited down to a cool 60 seconds. It's nothing amazing but fuck... it's got a plot revolving around accusations of sheep sex and worse acting than a Segal flick. How could I not post it?

06/27/10 Vintage

Friendly Fire

Dude gets blasted with man chowder after standing in the line of fire like a dumb shit rookie. Even worse, most of the load landed right in his belly button. Gonna have a real fun time cleaning that one out buddy!

05/30/10 Fail

Girl Got HIV After Doing Anal

This is the story of Lara Roxx - a French Canadian who's career as a hardcore pornstar was derailed before it even began. She contracted HIV just after her first shoot - which involved taking 2 fat cocks up the ass simultaneously... aka "double anal"... aka just beggin for a blood transfusion.

05/13/10 Documentary

The Craziest Of All Crazy Bitches

Who the fuck refers to stripping butt naked in Grand Central Station as a 'declaration of indviduality'? The same person that dubs themselves a multimedia conceptual performance artist. I believe that's just fancy talk for "dumb hoe".

05/06/10 Exhibition

Time To Retire

I cant even imagine how many jackoff sessions came to a halt after this saggy-assed dinosaur stepped in front of the camera. How the fuck are you supposed to beat off when 50% of the screen is devoted to the puckering balloon knot of a gay porn veteran? Honestly...

04/25/10 Bizarre

32 Ounces Of Pussy

Ever wonder what it would be like if Arby's had an all-you-can-eat buffet? Just toss this bitch a quarter and dive head first into the moutain of vadge. The dining experince would be virtually identical.

03/26/10 Beef Curtains

Enthusiasm Fail

Congratulations on managing to fit your entire fist up your wife's tuna casserole. It's quite the lifetime achievement. Now if only you would quiet the fuck down and learn to expand your vocabulary some!

03/23/10 Fisting

Who Wants Lasagna

First he bulldozes her ass till his cock turns brown. Then he moves up an orifice and gives her twat some chocolate-coated TLC... which is pretty much guaranteed to result in a wicked case of vaginitis but lets not spoil the fun. All things come to an end after he asks the most amazing question ever uttered in a pornographic film - "who wants lasagna?"

03/21/10 LULZ

Orgasm Interrupted By Phone Call

Here's another video with that one girl who has orgasmic convulsions every time something big and black is stuck between her legs.

02/28/10 Orgasms

Street Walker Confessions

Every time her son's cock gets brought up, her eyes widen like someone in the drive-thru at Taco Bell. It's pretty creepy. Almost as creepy as that basketball-sized growth hanging from her mid section. Seriously, what the fuck is that?

02/14/10 Hookers

Masturbation Fail

I hear that locking the door is a pretty efficient away of gaining privacy. Might wanna try that out sometime ya dumb bitch.

01/23/10 Busted!

The Sherminator

Props to the ginger on his pipe laying skills. Honestly haven't heard a woman scream that loud since the time I was caught defecating in front of Blockbuster in protest to late fees accumulated on my rental of The Neverending Story 3 (director's cut). Good times.

11/20/09 Orgasms

Anal With Constipated Girlfriend

I'm always one step ahead of female biology. When I wanna ass fuck a woman, I simply lace her Cinnamon Toast Crunch with ex-lax. Come night fall, her cornhole is as empty as Tara Reid's head. Works every time.

09/09/09 LULZ

Gangbanged By 251 Men For Nothing

The 90's - A time when fucking a quarter thousand men in the name of art somehow made sense. Talk about a resume booster!

08/09/09 LULZ

Extreme Anal Maintenance

If only my girlfriend shared her habits... maybe then I wouldn't end up with shit in my urethra 3 times a week.

07/01/09 Bizarre

The Most Obnoxious Bitch In Porn

I don't really give a fuck what anyone else has to say... domestic violence is always a solution. I'd pimp slap that bitch all the way back into the 80's, a time when her David Bowie hairdo was actually fashionable.

05/18/09 Fail

Vocal Vagina

It can talk. Pretty sure I saw it spit a few times too.

04/28/09 Gape
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