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Lemme Smell Yo Dick

One of the shittiest XXX films I've seen in my time... edited down to a cool 60 seconds. It's nothing amazing but fuck... it's got a plot revolving around accusations of sheep rape and worse acting than a Segal flick. How could I not post it?

2,276,930 views 06/27/10 Vintage

Is It In Yet

Hector and his 2.5 inch pop gun (their measurements, not mine) get an earful of criticism after disappointing a gang of size queens... and nailing himself in the forehead with his own payload. Sorry friend but I think it's best you take your cocktail sausage and head on back to that strawberry field you done crawled up out of.

6,984,890 views 06/07/10 FuckTeamFive LULZ

Before & After

An upclose look at the genitalia of a Brazillian gutterslut directly before and after having an intimate encounter with Jamal Jones Jr the 3rd. The rectal damage is top shelf.

4,052,776 views 05/21/10 Prolapse

Blumpkins Really Do Exist

Male pornstar goes where no male pornstar has gone before: to the bathroom... whilst getting his dick sucked. Sounded like a wet one too. Guess this ends the century-long debate that blumpkins are merely an object of fucked up folklore. Another score for modern civilization.

3,052,499 views 05/05/10 Fail

I Lost My Virginity To A Dog

Perhaps my logic in somewhat flawed - but you'd think that someone who's devoted their life to sucking animal dick would at least have the courtesy to convert to vegetarianism. You heartless bitch.

3,183,501 views 03/10/10 LULZ

My Sister Caught Me Masturbating

Mr. big dick hot shot is reduced to a little bitch in 5 seconds flat after his sister walks in on his cybersex extravaganza.

3,826,016 views 02/23/10 Busted!

Hi, My Penis Is 3 Feet Long

Shit. If my cock that was big, I'd throw on my limited edition Bugle Boy jean shorts and hit the boardwalk.

4,690,538 views 01/26/10 Asians

Orgasm Fail

Preggo girl is in the middle of cumming when her [minute] man declares that the apple sauce is en route for early delivery. She replies with a double "doo eet", which I believe means: "cum inside me so that I can finish my orgasm you twig dick motherfucker". The request didn't seem to catch.

4,527,967 views 12/08/09 Premature

10 Inches Of Terror

That raspy lookin black bitch's reaction is fuckin PRICELESS!

3,757,519 views 11/24/09 Exhibition

The Blob

He can brag about his 20 pound meat bag all he wants. If it doesn't get hard, then it's about as useful as a black hooker at a blood drive.

1,485,042 views 11/19/09 WTF

Bitch! You Broke My Dick!

Fuck porn, she belongs in MMA.

3,756,787 views 11/04/09 Fights

Big Penises Cause Big Problems

Jesus. His cock is so big it's capable of causing fatal internal damage. I've never been so jealous in my life.

2,495,829 views 07/15/09 Fail

Orgasm At The Gym

You're supposed to wipe down the machine with a towel before you leave, dickhead.

1,376,605 views 07/10/09 Public

Oink Oink Suck My Dick

For a minute there, I was actually beginning to lose faith in Japan's ability to consistently create the most fucked up, ridiculous adult films known to man. Then I was introduced to the latest and greatest - 'anamorphic animal porn'. Pure win.

3,520,518 views 03/30/09 Asians

Let Yo Dick Swang

I wonder how often he accidentally breaks a girls nose doing all that high speed cock slapping? or does that only happen when the bitch stiffs him on his much deserved dollar tip?

1,650,474 views 02/11/09 Strippers

Baby Got Back

Her ass protrudes more inches than my dick is long. Anal sex just wouldn't be possible with this one.

1,243,102 views 01/20/09

Pencil Dick

Never thought I'd be so jealous of a cock shaped like a Slim Jim... and a chocolate covered one at that. Always buckle up and wear a rubber when traveling down the hershey highway, head on collisions can be messy.

2,452,714 views 01/20/09 Big Dicks

Half Woman Half Donkey

Not even for 10k would I stick my dick between those chompers. Mr. Ed would mistake my willy for a carrot and I'd get circumcised all over again.

812,821 views 01/03/09

Wait She Just Sucked Your Dick...

Ever meet a girl who liked to make out directly after sucking your dick and/or swallowing your load? Kinda faggoty right? Here's how to combat this atrocious trend: Toss your girls salad and get some flavor going. Then grab on to your lady's face and forcefully make out with her. Don't let her squirm away. It's imperative that she has a taste of her own medicine.

1,411,079 views 12/21/08 Mildly Retarded

Homeless Hooker

I found this in an article about homeless women who work out of portable toilets as prostitutes. Can you imagine actually paying this beast to suck your dick in that thing? The heavy smell of shit/hiv would be enough to cause me respiratory failure.

721,352 views 12/11/08
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