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NO ME GUSTA JIZZUM!

I don't know what's funnier: the fact that a professional cocksmith accidentally blew his load in the middle of a lap dance or the chunky bitch's facial expression after getting blasted with man sauce. Both are most definitely Kodak moments.

2,964,799 views 05/16/10 Dancing Bear Strippers

Girl Got HIV After Doing Anal

This is the story of Lara Roxx - a French Canadian who's career as a hardcore pornstar was derailed before it even began. She contracted HIV just after her first shoot - which involved taking 2 fat cocks up the ass simultaneously... aka "double anal"... aka just beggin for a blood transfusion.

2,893,618 views 05/13/10 Documentary

WTF Is That Cum

Lesbo noob is dumbfoudned after her partner lets out a sloppy wet orgasm.

3,401,090 views 04/29/10 Fail

The Pencil Test

Ouch. As if being born a ginger wasn't bad enough, this Irish Setter has a set of knockers that look a lot like deflated weather balloons.

2,802,824 views 04/18/10 LULZ

A Gangbang Before Marriage

The love of your life just had her brains fucked out by a 1000 different scumbags and now you feel the urge to tie the knot? LOL. Happy honeymoon guy!

4,431,429 views 04/14/10 LULZ

Death By Titties

This is Busty Heart. She's got 40 pound titties that sag to the knees - most likely the product of strategically self-induced elephantitis. Fun bags of this caliber aren't taken lightly. One poor fuck literally croaked after catching a look at her knockers. LOL.

2,471,432 views 04/01/10 LULZ

I Lost My Virginity To A Dog

Perhaps my logic in somewhat flawed - but you'd think that someone who's devoted their life to sucking animal dick would at least have the courtesy to convert to vegetarianism. You heartless bitch.

3,190,308 views 03/10/10 LULZ

He Rather Fuck A Horse

Hmmm. Cant really blame the guy. If your wife looked like a cross between Rosanne and a lesbian hippopotamus... you'd probably explore other options too.

2,390,143 views 02/16/10 LULZ

Orgasm Fail

Preggo girl is in the middle of cumming when her [minute] man declares that the apple sauce is en route for early delivery. She replies with a double "doo eet", which I believe means: "cum inside me so that I can finish my orgasm you twig dick motherfucker". The request didn't seem to catch.

4,533,255 views 12/08/09 Premature

The Sherminator

Props to the ginger on his pipe laying skills. Honestly haven't heard a woman scream that loud since the time I was caught defecating in front of Blockbuster in protest to late fees accumulated on my rental of The Neverending Story 3 (director's cut). Good times.

1,804,750 views 11/20/09 Orgasms

The Blob

He can brag about his 20 pound meat bag all he wants. If it doesn't get hard, then it's about as useful as a black hooker at a blood drive.

1,488,020 views 11/19/09 WTF

The Most Miserable Pornstar Ever

Pretty sure I once saw this chick in a humanitarian commercial for Yugoslavian orphans. It's hard to forget a facial expression like that.... especially after fappin to it for 3 consecutive months.

2,258,387 views 10/07/09 Fail

Cumshot Fail

Tojiri "vertigo" Yamamato fumbles at the 3 yard line.

1,808,437 views 09/26/09 Fail

Healthy Alternatives To Anal Sex

She rather suck off a fuckin golden retriever than take it up the butt. No joke. They even have an in depth conversation about dog cock just prior to the cumshot finale. Nothing like a little steamy dialogue to keep your noodle hard, right?

3,889,261 views 09/22/09 Meatholes Painal

Pornstar Hates Semen

No one said you had to like it baby. Just sit back, open wide and think about all the Baja Chalupas you'll be able to buy as soon as you're done. That's what gets me through the day.

1,524,098 views 08/17/09 Cum Haters

Gangbanged By 251 Men For Nothing

The 90's - A time when fucking a quarter thousand men in the name of art somehow made sense. Talk about a resume booster!

2,650,113 views 08/09/09 LULZ

Blowjob Fail

It's semen, not battery acid. Embrace the saltiness and show some appreciation.

2,157,526 views 07/21/09 LULZ

Sex Ed For Dummies

Usually these type of videos are designed for kids. This one's actually for adults... adults so dumb they can't tell apart their wife's pussy hole from an Arby's Beef N Cheddar. Skip to 3:38 and you'll understand.

1,414,555 views 07/11/09 Documentary

Extreme Anal Maintenance

God damn. If only my girlfriend shared her habits... maybe then I wouldn't end up with shit in my urethra 3 times a week.

1,907,349 views 07/01/09 Bizarre

Don't Cum On Me Motherfucker

I wonder what that must feel like... to defend yourself from a physical assault as you're in the middle of ejaculating. I'd sue the bitch - 50k in punitive damages for an orgasm ruined. No one fucks up my fap session and gets away with it for free.

2,500,559 views 05/08/09 Fail
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