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Not Your Typical Pornstar

He's got a viking haircut, a 7.5 inch cock and the pussy-eating skills of a Golden Retriever. The porn industry will never be the same.

2,338,244 views 06/08/09 Mildly Retarded

When Senior Citizens Attack

Had me ROFL'ing up until the point that he started bashing her face in like Mike Tyson. That was my cue to bust out the Jergens.

1,574,243 views 05/22/09 Vintage

Vocal Vagina

It can talk. Pretty sure I saw it spit a few times too.

1,022,872 views 04/28/09 Gape

1 Guy 1 Screwdriver

Poor fella. First his cornhole and now his jimmy jammy. Only one sexual organ left to destroy - el huevos. See ya in another 3 months buddy. Okay now all of you go join the eFukt forum. The dude in these videos posts on there. For realz.

3,491,819 views 04/19/09 Extreme

Help! My Boobs Are Too Big!

She basically paid over $10,000 just to have her titties butchered. What kind of sick, fucked up world is this?

1,972,412 views 04/14/09 Modifications

Stump Grinder

I share Kevin Bacon's frustration, but hey... you gotta work with what you got!

1,598,017 views 03/29/09 Amputee

A Vagina Within A Vagina

Double decker taco. Kinda looks like the mouth of the xenomorph from the Alien series. A wee bit nasty but I'd still let her sit on my face.

1,633,580 views 03/24/09 Beef Curtains

Butthole Obliteration

If Twitter was popular in 2009, a social media campaign could have made this a serious case for Depends Undergarment's first official sponsor of an amateur porn video. I consider it a lost opportunity really.

1,503,060 views 02/25/09 Painal

I Wouldn't Shake Her Hand

But I would stick it in her ass, assuming her clean-up measures for urban number 2's are slightly more sanitary than what's displayed in this video.

1,533,916 views 02/09/09 Bizarre

1 Guy, 1 Basketball

For centuries many will wonder - how did he do it? How did one man fit an entire basketball into his anus? Vigorous week-long training sessions? Nah. Optical illusion? Nope. Homosexual superpowers that transform one's rectum into a 4th dimension gateway? I suspect so.

1,770,736 views 01/26/09 Insertions

The Dumbest Sex Device Ever Built

That doesn't even look too fun. Her tits look like tomatoes on the verge of exploding. I never realized breasts were so durable. Not only do they come in handy for whatever the fuck you'd call this shit, but they also serve as excellent punching bags. They're multipurpose, unlike my penis.

1,495,720 views 12/28/08 Bizarre

The Indestructible Vagina

1,518,634 views 12/17/08 Loose

Stuff You Shouldn't Put In Your Ass

Well after seeing last weeks video, I think "glass jars" should top the list of "stuff not to shove up your ass" but honestly there isn't much creativty in that. Now a lemon juicer on the other hand... thats got originality written all over it.

1,305,346 views 12/15/08 Insertions

Amputee Porn Gone Bad

All the things that made amputee porn so great just got shitted on by whoever made this so called 'erotic film'. Amputee porn is about disabled, submissive (and usually defenseless) women being fucked by men with exceedingly large penises. I refuse to have it any other way.

2,459,668 views 12/10/08 Amputee

His Dick Wasn't Big Enough

When your penis just can't get the job done, you gotta resort to other body parts. The fist is the limb of choice for most of those big-pussied sluts, but of course there's always gonna be some with even more demanding needs. In this video the guy uses his foot, but keep in mind you can always skull fuck them too. Just shave your head 1st for the sake of hygiene.

1,764,426 views 11/07/08 Insertions

Cleaning Has Never Been More Fun

Fuck, that's a hell of a way to mop a floor. It's inspiring really. So how exactly would one apply this kind of creativity to cleaning up their bathroom? I've got shit stains on my toilet dating back from 1997 and the only way I'm gonna get off my ass and do something about it is if it involves a naked woman.

2,321,481 views 11/03/08 Bizarre

How To Fuck Like A King

Damn. I could really use some service like this. At 325 pounds, I'm lucky if I can even find my cock, let alone put it to use. Sign me up for 2 whores, along with 4 beefcakes to handle all movement.

2,230,629 views 11/02/08 LULZ

You Fucked My Pussy Up

It's not your typical work-related injury, but these things do happen... especially when someone is intentionally thrusting their foot into your vagina. It could've been worse - a flesh wound via jagged toenail... that would've put her out of work for good.

1,551,721 views 10/26/08 Fail

Fattest Pussy Ever

Her vagina looks a lot like a baseball mit, same color too. If you're gonna be 69'ing her with you on bottom, do yourself a favor and bring along a snorkel.

1,612,416 views 10/24/08 Beef Curtains

Senior Citizen Attempts 'Rough Sex'

Anally penetrating a Ukrainian hooker while watching Mrs. Doubtfire has been on my to-do list for ages, but it looks like this crazy motherfucker beat me to it. Oh well, I'll still always be the 1st person ever to receive a blumpkin whilst playing Command & Conquer: Tiberian Dawn. Wasn't easy.

5,949,536 views 10/12/08 Amateur
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