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Pornstars Say The Darndest Things

"You don't deserve my cock... you don't even deserve a bulldog's cock. All you deserve is your own stinking shit, so get down and suck it off my prick" .... turn the volume up for this one boys. Waaay up.

2,046,881 views 04/04/09 LULZ

Prehistoric Fap Master

I'm nearly certain he's playing Team Fortress Classic. Glad to know I'm not the only one who gets a fat boner from spawn killing.

556,163 views 03/30/09

Oink Oink Suck My Dick

For a minute there, I was actually beginning to lose faith in Japan's ability to consistently create the most fucked up, ridiculous adult films known to man. Then I was introduced to the latest and greatest - 'anamorphic animal porn'. Pure win.

3,522,586 views 03/30/09 Asians

Stump Grinder

I share Kevin Bacon's frustration, but hey... you gotta work with what you got!

1,599,559 views 03/29/09 Amputee

Cactus Cooler

This was actually on my "things I wanna see before I die" list. I'm making progress.

803,833 views 03/24/09

A Vagina Within A Vagina

Double decker taco. Kinda looks like the mouth of the xenomorph from the Alien series. A wee bit nasty but I'd still let her sit on my face.

1,635,112 views 03/24/09 Beef Curtains

Prisoners Of Whore

The storylines on these Japanese pornos are really hard to follow. I vote less plot and more eels.

1,573,458 views 03/10/09 Asians

Guess What She Ate For Lunch

I'll give you a hint - it's a vegetable that shares it's name with an incredibly shitty nu metal band whose fans always wear black nail polish and amazingly have smaller penises than myself (sub 3.75 inches). This is too easy.

1,817,369 views 03/08/09 LULZ

A Kodak Moment

Sisters on the left and right. Mommy in the middle. And a white washed Tay Zonday in the back. Lovin it.

764,278 views 03/06/09

Soccer Mom

Whenever she makes the unfortunate decision to reproduce, I bet you the doctors in the delivery room will just have her stand up and let gravity take it's course. The little fucker will fall right out.

1,874,990 views 03/02/09 Insertions

LOL I Caught You

I caught my ex-girlfriend masturbating once after months of reconnaissance. At first I was all like "HAHA I finally caught you! Yussss!".... but then it occured to me - she rather fuck a piece of plastic than sleep with me. What a fucking insult.

3,875,191 views 02/28/09 Busted!

Butthole Obliteration

If Twitter was popular in 2009, a social media campaign could have made this a serious case for Depends Undergarment's first official sponsor of an amateur porn video. I consider it a lost opportunity really.

1,503,881 views 02/25/09 Painal

Cleanup On Orifice Number 1

This is a fetish known as 'cuckold cleanup'. Usually it involves a closet homosexual who gets off on pimpin his wife out to random strangers. Often the husband will sit in the corner and actually videotape as his significant other gets pounded by foreign cock. Once the creampie has been injected, it's like 'all you can eat' night at Red Lobster. Yum yum eat em up.

1,598,262 views 02/21/09 Cuckold

Mystery Meat

There's been much debate as to whether this is in fact a woman or just a post-op tranny. I feel these detailed photos will help you reach your own conclusions.

1,680,720 views 02/19/09 Gallery

Mrs. Gapey

A little bit closer plz, I wanna see last nights dinner.

507,852 views 02/14/09

Let Yo Dick Swang

I wonder how often he accidentally breaks a girls nose doing all that high speed cock slapping? or does that only happen when the bitch stiffs him on his much deserved dollar tip?

1,651,445 views 02/11/09 Strippers

Church Of Goatse

Someone photoshop a prolapse in there for me.

719,931 views 02/10/09

Zombie Tits

I suppose titty fucking is out of the question?

765,719 views 02/10/09

I Wouldn't Shake Her Hand

But I would stick it in her ass, assuming her clean-up measures for urban number 2's are slightly more sanitary than what's displayed in this video.

1,534,499 views 02/09/09 Bizarre

Officer Jackoff

He thinks his turn is next.

764,197 views 02/07/09
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