Big fat curved penis sends a fresh wad of home cooked Twinky filling right back into the face of it's creator. It's not a problem I expect to incur any time soon but I do retain faith in the bottle of Extenze my sister so kindly purchased me last xmas. Similar videos HERE & HERE.
Director gets annoyed after discovering the star of his innocent themed porno flick is actually a post-crackwhorian guttertramp with a horrendous tattoo right where it counts. That's like casting Steven Segal in a drama about lesbians. Some things you just cant pull off, no matter how big your ponytail is.
He's got a 7 inch penis. You know what that means? He's fuckin John Stamos of the internet. And what better way to assert your superiority than to beat off on camera while talkin dirty in your finest batman voice? You da man.
Junkie reminisces about her previous employer - some motherfucker that literally blew a $100,000 inheritance entirely on prostitutes hired for nothing more than to eat Taco Bell and defecate on his face. In other words.. dude's a legend.
Ya know what... when you're stuck with 4.2 inch weiner and the endurance of that fat fuck from ABC's Lost... propositioning a random big-dicked black dude to bang your wife really might not be all that great of an idea.
Pornstar demonstrates her multitasking proskillz by calling up mommy and holding a conversation as she chows down on a can of man-ass. Divided attention really ain't all that bad.
This is ex-pornstar Tiffany Million. She exited the adult industry in 1994 to become a Bounty Hunter in Arizona, which was later turned into a reality TV show. Unlike most of the 2 bit sloots in the business, Tiffany actually has some personality. She's funny as fuck and has an upbeat attitude to match, which makes beating off to her videos all the more rewarding.
Contrary to his appearance, endurance really isn't this chumps specialty. To call him a minute-man would be a compliment. But all of that's okay when you have big muscles.
This is Busty Heart. She's got 40 pound titties that sag to the knees - most likely the product of strategically self-induced elephantitis. Fun bags of this caliber aren't taken lightly. One poor fuck literally croaked after catching a look at her knockers. LOL.
Ginger Spice 2.0 straight up forgot to wipe her ass. She's got a shit-soaked thong that's leaking out malt balls left and right. What's awesome is the dumb motherfucker that decided to use his own finger to inspect the mysterious brown substance. Hepatitis C baby.
If you're among the minority of men that don't enjoy seeing Japanese women being beaten to tears, it's probably best you skip this one. These fun bags take more abuse than a Mexican pinata on May 5th.
The title is slightly inaccurate, I just felt like making a reference to that shitty Nick Cage movie. The reality of the situation is that this willy wonka can't even last 5 seconds. Getting to the 1 minute mark would be like an olympic achievement.
