Remember the frigid chick that randomly started sobbing in the middle of a Rocco shoot? It was actually pretty touching, to both my heart & my penis. But apparently that encounter was only chapter 1 in a saga of piss-poor decisions.
Farted on, finger raped, told he looks like fuckin Robin Williams - this dude endures pain you can't even imagine. Fortunately he's a Sum 41 mosh pit survivor and holds a blackbelt in making Terminator-esque sound effects whilst flailing his arms like a fucking idiot, so it's all good.
Here it is. The Citizen Kane of ewww your semen tastes like Gene Wilder's deceased asshole. Actually, I'm not entirely sure whether or not Gene is deceased, but I trust that the implied mental image is effective all the same.
She's junior college educated, has a rack to premature ejaculate for, and isn't afraid to slob on the knob after her partner takes a trip to cornhole city. Superintendent Jackoff & Co can hate all they want, this angel is a keeper. Read the story HERE. See her nastiest videos in the source.
This girl has an emotional breakdown immediately following a facial. I initially assumed the obvious - dude must love his jumbo asparagus. But upon a 2nd viewing, I spotted a wedding band on the left hand. This is the part where I'm supposed to call her a whore. Personally, I'd rather just comfort her and smell her butt. I'm romantic like that.
7 inch cock? Check. Syphilis free? Probably. Can make a girl cum? Not a fucking chance. Have yourself a hearty LOL as Jose's porn dreams go down the shitter faster than Steven Segal's music career.
Over 40 bukkake shoots and the closest this dude's come to delivering a facial was the time he soiled himself in a dark corner. But today's a game changer. Via the aid of a compassionate fluffer, this orange-haired bastard finally gets a legitimate taste of manhood.
Ridiculous porno quote of the week: "make me into a worthless vegetable". Yeah well, her male counterpart certainly tried. But the end result was less Terri Schiavo and more Michael J. Fox. Yeah, I'm going to hell.
Bukkake is pretty straight forward. Aim for the face and let the protein shake rip. Easy peasy, unless of course you're a 300 pound ginger named Corn. 40 attempts and the best this gluten can do is make a wet spot in the corner. Fucking hilarious.
Two best friends, both packing about as much meat as Earthworm Jim, head to the local glory hole for a good time. Penile deficient guy #1 gets laughed out the booth, while the 2nd is given a standing chance but ultimately lacks the inches neccessary for a practical performance. haha.
Todays learnings: homeless people have yellow semen, 400 pound fluffers are counterproductive, line cutting at bukakke shoots is socially acceptable, and watching female photographers belittle Hispanic participants is strangely erotic. That's that.
Persian girl gets an accidental, no-lube blow to the rectum... most likely due to her male counterpart having the gut of a pregnant woman and not being able to see what the fuck he's aiming at. Or in other words... he tried to no-scope it and failed wonderfully.
This white trash tart has a speech impediment that's left her sounding like Stan's cunt of a sister from South Park. But that's okay. The bulk of her dialogue has been limited to "ouch" and "that hurtz muddafucka". I wouldn't have it any other way.
Adult modeling. The only industry where knowing how to suck dick supercedes spelling and grammar.
Rain DeGrey straight up collapses after cumming her brains out. Resuscitation attempts include CPR, additional finger banging and a makeshift defibrillator. No shit. This is from a three part series, available from Kink.com/HogTied. Consider joining, it's a great site and you'd be supporting eFukt.
Asian chick gets the elasticity fucked out of her, generating one pussy-throbbing orgasm after another. I have to say, the end result isnt too aesthetically pleasing. After the 5th orgasm her twat starts to look like something off an Arby's value menu.
No more vids for a few days. This shit took all week to edit and now I've got a date with my neighbors cleaning lady. She's 18, dont hate. Already got advance tickets to Harry Potter 7. IMAX. Ultimate panty dropper.
This is called small penis overcompensation. It happens when those dudes with 3.5 inchers become frustrated by their partners lack of enthusiasm. So they pump harder, faster and deeper but often to no avail. Eventually the chump reaches a breaking point. Somewhere in between the 4th and 7th yawn. Funny shit.
