Well after seeing last weeks video, I think "glass jars" should top the list of "stuff not to shove up your ass" but honestly there isn't much creativty in that. Now a lemon juicer on the other hand... thats got originality written all over it.
I love how he franctically jacks off even after he's already blown his load, maybe hoping to milk out one last squirt of man-goo and actually land it on her face? No such luck for this fatty arbuckle. I'll tell you though, I'm definitely diggin his torn up thong.
All the things that made amputee porn so great just got shitted on by whoever made this so called 'erotic film'. Amputee porn is about disabled, submissive (and usually defenseless) women being fucked by men with exceedingly large penises. I refuse to have it any other way.
Honestly, less than 1% of the shit I post actually makes me LOL. Anal prolapses and horse porn bloopers just don't seem to do it for me anymore. But jesus... the second I heard this guy blow ass in the opening sequence I LOL'd so hard my eyes started watering like an emo kid listening to Dashboard Confessional.
Here it is. The man, the cup, the legend. Over 6 million views and I'm proud to say this gent is actually a member of our very own efukt forum. God bless.
This is from the 1976 classic Water Power. It's a lot like Taxi Driver, except this Travis Bickle has a little fetish for forcing woman into doing enemas at gun point. The film is actually based on real crimes committed by an Illinois man dubbed the "Enema Bandit". Anyway he's dead now, so R.I.P you scat-loving motherfucker.
Fuck, that's a hell of a way to mop a floor. It's inspiring really. So how exactly would one apply this kind of creativity to cleaning up their bathroom? I've got shit stains on my toilet dating back from 1997 and the only way I'm gonna get off my ass and do something about it is if it involves a naked woman.
This one is a little open-ended. There's no money shot or anything, which gives us the opportunity to use our imaginations and draw our own conclusions. Perhaps she had a prolapse, ran off the set in humiliation, then went flat broke and turned to prostitution? Sounds about right to me.
Anally penetrating a Ukrainian hooker while watching Mrs. Doubtfire has been on my to-do list for ages, but it looks like this crazy motherfucker beat me to it. Oh well, I'll still always be the 1st person ever to receive a blumpkin whilst playing Command & Conquer: Tiberian Dawn. Wasn't easy.
Here's yet another video of a woman suffering from bodily damage after granting a large cock permission to penetrate her brown eye. To be honest, I think this one is a tranny but that's besides the point. I want to know where those 2 giant raisins dangling from her asshole came from?
It's a porno, not a god damn fitness video. Stop adding in the shitty keyboard-generated dance music, it drains out the sound of the woman crying and gagging on cock, which is an essential part of my fap session.
A few tit jobs and a little lipo, and then BAM... her vagina will be generating 7 figures annually before you even know it. It'll also be generating a yellowish discharge, depending on the severity of the Herpes and Gonorrhea that she's bound to contract.
Not quite a prolapse but it might as well be. Her asshole looks a slice of damaged grapefruit and her vagina... hmmm... I'm gonna go with a cut of ahi tuna - burnt on the edges, raw in the center. Updating this site always makes me hungry.
I found this on some website that pays $2,000 for homemade porno. I'm kinda bummed... they rejected all 3 of my personal sextapes, citing that my 2 inch penis wouldn't appeal to general audiences. Ouch!
Aye carumba! Nice elephant cock dood! But I forsee 1 little problem... the only creatures with big enough holes for you to fuck are large horses and gay pornstars who've been subjected to olympian gangbangs. Tough break bro!
Vintage porno with incestual undertones makes me laugh. It also heightens my urge to be transported back to the 70's so that I can fuck the shit out of hippies along side mothers with beehive hairdos.
Silicone is gonna start leaking out her nipples and in 3 days she'll be back to an A cup. I think that makes this the cheapest breast reduction surgery ever.
