Perhaps this can be classified as "small wiener compensation". It happens when homebois packing less meat than a vegetarian BBQ get discouraged by their girl's complete lack of excitement. Building a device that scalps your crotch is optional. Oh... you'll see.
Somewhere in the next 4 minutes you may ask yourself: What the fuck led to the creation of this? Amphetamines? Mental illness? An unhealthy addiction to masturbating with a Vitamix Explorian [2:20 mark] I don't know but... another sequel is most definitely in the works. [-PART 1-]
Every girl should know that a slippery fuck toy plus a cavernous butthole can equal a trip to the ER. Next time save yourself the embarrassing shuffle through the waiting room and tie a string to that mother fucker.
Consider this an open letter to the content creators out there: I will donate the $13.75 I made trading Krypto Kittys with down syndrome to a charity of your choosing, in exchange for promising to never use condiments on your wiener ever again. The balls are in your courts.
Watching [girls like this] bait the socially inept into a monthly subscription reminds me of a black widow documentary I once accidentally watched for 2 hours. All that's missing is David Attenboroughs voice and an invigorating supply of Cialis.
One indisputable fact of life: Crossbreeding Arnold Schwarzenegger with anything will instantly improve it in every way. Even an extraordinarily overhyped meme girl that surprisingly, hasn't made me want to pull my third ball off (yet). Here's to those 15 minutes lasting another 5. PARTS: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-]
UPDATE: this girl actually emailed me, here's the background story - she lives in a KKK-laden town where 12 inch black wangs are the forbidden fruit. Undeterred, she sought salvation on blackplanet.com and ultimately bit off more BBC than her vagina could chew.
Don't let the Twitch staff wardrobe and lack of muscle fiber fool you: This army of limp-wristed, mouth-breathing fun-seekers have reached their breaking point and shit just hit the fan water-cooled RTX 3080. Consider this a warning to all women that can fit in a rowboat.
I'm not sure a woman with more parking space between her gooch than New York City is on my list of "boner material". But it's 2026 and trying new things was one of the resolutions. Right between losing 19lbs and using toilet paper.
The only time I've seen self-harming determination this powerful was in the /terraluna subreddit. And much like the ability to ejaculate to one of these anomalies, I think it's time to pack it up and admit defeat boys. disclaimer: This is not financial advice [you retard].
If any of you ever want to launch one of those "Top 10 Ways to Make a Girl Break up With You" kind of blogs, make sure some of these specimens are on the list. Somewhere in between Fortnite themed flip flops, and listening to Ed Sheeran.
