Tojo trades his neighbor a weeks worth of cup-o-noodles in exchange for a sensuous dicksuck. Here's the kicker: Tojo has the hygiene of Forest Whitaker's asshole. Dude simply does not shower. The end result is enough dick cheese to feed half of Mumbai.
Congratz! Local Russian folklore states that if you are visited by the naked battle gypsy of St. Pete you will be forever blessed by good fortune. Don't look directly at her vagina though, or they say she'll curse you with impotence.
This condition is more commonly known as "high maintenance". It happens when all your sexual experience comes from Ikea tutorial videos, so you seek the refuge of desperate males and develop less communication skills than The Undertaker. #sadtbh
Losing an 8 inch dildo in in a girls ass can have some consequences beyond fecal flavoring. If you can't get it out, the shoot is over and it's an awkward trip to the hospital with an unhappy porn star.
Pretty much the most perplexing acts of genital manipulation I've witnessed since marathoning all 47 volumes of SSBBW Ivy and Friends Videos. My voice matters today more than ever before.
What happens when you get more desperate than Marvel shoving 93% of the MCU into the new Avenger's Movie just to stay relevant? A little bit of Magic. And a tad bit of whimsy.
The unwritten rules east Asian pervert punishment? #1: Follow the dress code at all times #2: Stay hydrated and (most importantly) #3: Outdo WWE's last pay-per-view in both outfit design and dynamic movesets. I'd say our employee of the month is 3 for 3.
So, this is the new standard for getting attention? Terrorizing unsuspecting civilians with your prescription flavored genitals and "oopsy'ing" ur way through milk toast sexual acts? Points for the self-awareness though. It adds a little depth to my upcoming biography aptly named: Sex, Drugs & Brain Damage
If you're one of the lucky ones that isn't polluted by the shear amount of shit on TikTok and/or Instagram, let me introduce you to [BabyAlien111]. A 23 year old virgin that has been g(r)ifted a life changing experience by [Ari Alectra]. You can buy the full video [HERE].
