Vlad the Impaler

What's hung like a Clydesdale and knows less words than a Pokemon? He's known simply as Vlad, and 37 states require a permit to walk around with that fucking thing in public.

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You know that feeling: When it's 0600 hours, the sun is shining, and you find yourself 4-inches deep inside the only girl that believed your story about using the same plumber as Zac Efron. In other words: Perfection. That is, unless Lucya "The Wolverine" Chernyshevsky is leader of the neighborhood watch.

12/08/20 Public

Public Degeneracy Volume 15

All I ask is to watch and promise to never replicate. Especially that indoor power washing in the last video. One wrong push and you run the risk of turning the thunderstorm into a full blown shit shower. I call it "the heat seeking carmel farmer" and it's the #3 reason for divorce. Right behind finances and sending an application to Lily Philips.

Amateur Hour: Chronicles Of Failure

Dudes that look like half-evolved Animorphs, Jurassic Park fetishizers and turning a 2 liter into a condom. And they are all getting laid on a regular basis. I'd suggest you let that sink in, but... the mud is already too deep.

04/09/26 Beef Curtains

Uncle Dick-Dont-Fit

Sonuva bitch... dude's packing the kind of penis that can only be described as "an emergency every time I have to take a piss". Time to call up AARP and find out what size wheelbarrow they're willing to cover for this kind of disability. Something in a dual-wheel polycarbon should do it.

Porn That Shouldn't Exist: 4

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06/26/25 Crazy

NOTHING is Impossible

Pigs flying, A Manson Family Hanukkah special and clean underwear after all-you-can-eat Chinese food. These are all things I expected to see long before a man that has mastered the art of hands-free ejacs. Next time do it into the palm of a guy named Carlos. It's called the Puerto Rican Panhandle, I invented it.

11/26/18 Exhibition

Can't Stop The Cumshots 7

Nearly a dozen self-proclaimed slam masters add another accolade to their resumes in the form of EFUKT FEATURES. Emphasis on the final clip, in what will surely be the biggest "can surgery fix this?" clip you'll see today. MORE: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-] [-4-] [-5-] [-6-]

05/29/25 Premature

Public Degeneracy Volume 18

Maybe you've already seen the clip at 2:00. It seems to have spread across the Internet faster than gonorrhea during Burning Man weekend. But the rest is definitely worth a spot amongst your 36 hour doom scroll. More public shame[ing] [here]

The Most Eccentric Man on Pornhub

1. gold-phish 2. Speilberg 3. Coppola

12/07/18 Big Dicks

Just Tha Tip

Shane Diesel the type that gotta stand when he poops or his dick floats in the water. His dick so big he can't even go balls deep on these professional cock smugglers without causing serious internal injuries.

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