Almost Perfect

The Viewers Of Efukt

All you fukr's are awesome! Thanks for the emails, tips, submissions, everything. Love all the support from you crazy assholes.

The $40,000 Cock Job

Let me tell ya something champ: I've seen some loathsome shit in my day: Tijuana farm hopping, suggestive photos of Rosie O'Donnell, and whatever that Ghostbusters reboot was. But this? This made me boil a pot of chamomile tea and tell my dick a bedtime story. [OP]

Polish Bruja

I know what you're thinking... 'Wow, Ozzy Osbourne's daughter is looking better than ever.' No, this McPoyles lookalike from Always Sunny with the Spanish word for witch tatted on her stomach is a model... or some shit.

Stacked and More Socially Awkward 18-year-old

You clicked the original one so many damn times, I had to dive deeper into her discography. Unfortunately it turns out all her roads lead to this evolutionary cul-de-sac using her as the only form of exercise he's seen since Jock Jams was a thing. Don't look that up. [-PART I-]

Pure American Immorality

goon cave [plural goon caves] [Internet slang] An area or room dedicated to long masturbation sessions ["gooning"], often featuring a multi-monitor setup showing multiple pornographic contents simultaneously.


That's what Wikipedia tells you. What it doesn't tell you is some of these level 5 knuckle busting crotch goblins will bulldoze their entire savings account just to "expand their caves". So why are Americans singled out in the title? Because after being assaulted by over 500 photos of these demons, I noticed something; Not 1 Asian, Black, Hispanic or Alaskan Eskimo penis could be identified. Meaning this is yet another one of those spirited hobbies cultivated by the west. Feel free to sandwich it between 40 piece McNuggets and The Kardashians. [SOURCE #1] [SOURCE #2]

Awkward Moments In Porn 3

"Fuck me in the ass based god", reluctantly said the state puff marshmallow woman, as he thrusted his black penis deeper into her gooey marsh-mallowy hole.

Cum Haters 2019

Girls that agree to do porn + Refusing to take an ivory shower without a temper tantrum. An interesting combination, backseated only by Burger King's Quad Stacker + Charmin Ultra Soft. Sprinkle in a pinch of sexual anxiety and you got endless fap material my friends.

The Caught Compilation #21

Hiking trails? Elevators? Nursing homes? That's right, all of your most unassuming entertainment venues come at a hidden cost. Just a non-related tip of the day: Steer clear from any dipping sauces that have the word tangy in the name near closing time. Trust me.

UHH... SHE'S INSANE

I DON'T EVEN

I don't have words for this. So instead, I will quote Ian Watkins of the band "lost prophets" and say this is "mega lulz".

Steven Spielberg's Daughter Finds Her Calling

The mentally ill adopted daughter of billionaire Steven Spielberg wants to be financially independent. So, what does any strong empowered independent female do in 2020? Make an onlyfans account. [Full Story]

First Time Anal Ends In Tears

AKA "How to fuck teenagers for 60% off." So a little burnout QT3.14 thought she could get some extra weed money for some anal. Only problem is she's never done anal and has no idea the hurtin' she's in for.