Can't Be Contained

Can't Be Contained

Uploaded 09/27/15
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WARNING: Contents Under Pressure

Undoubtedly the most erotic thing I've seen since responding to an OKCupid message from a girl named The Violator. Results were similar if you replace 'cumshot' with 'Hellmans Tartar Sauce'. And 'private affair' with 'Burger King during rush hour'.

11/22/17 MHBHJ Orgasms

Promises Broken

♫ Lucky for me I'm not like those girls
♫ Who only take it all for granted
♫ All they got is what they're handed

02/03/25 Anal

Butt Sex Claims Another Victim

Every girl should know that a slippery fuck toy plus a cavernous butthole can equal a trip to the ER. Next time save yourself the embarrassing shuffle through the waiting room and tie a string to that mother fucker.

10/07/13 Insertions

The Caught Compilation 24

After seeing so many of these situations, sometimes I find myself asking; "Surely this is a planted setup?" I simply refuse to believe anomalies this brazen would be shown less audible disgust than someone being told the McFlurry machine is broken when they get noticed.

People are NOT Awesome 2014

Greatness can not exist without inferiority. Actually, maybe a better word could be used for the guy swinging around Mini Cooper in the last video. Either way; this is the side of humanity YouTube forgot to tell you about in their last year-in-review. #gag

08/06/14 Extreme

REAL CHEATING

10/10/26

The Girlfriend Experience

And by experience, I mean one man blowing up his beer money on the kind of sexual endeavor that would shell shock a Vietnam war veteran. Speaking of blowing up: The only thing missing from that slaughter house between her legs is someone in the background screaming wUrLstAr and Floyd Mayweather coming out of retirement to fight it.

11/18/20 Horror Porn Loose

How to Ruin Your Vagina

Yeah sure, looks neat now... but wait for the follow up video in a year when the labia is hanging like two flappy pancakes with weird scar-holes looking like some shit outta Hellraiser.

04/03/14 Modifications

When Fapping Goes Wrong

Although this scene of Gianna Micheals finger banging herself had to be cut short after only 4 mins, Gianna proves once again how badass she is and just finishes the scene best she can.

07/01/14 LULZ

Homo Attempts Straight Porn

Steven Daigle is the gay dude that got kicked off "Big Brother 10" and went on to fucking dudes on video for a job. Except for this scene, where he hilariously has an epic hetero pornstar threesome.

05/10/16 SG4GE Famous

NOTHING is Impossible

Pigs flying, A Manson Family Hanukkah special and clean underwear after all-you-can-eat Chinese food. These are all things I expected to see long before a man that has mastered the art of hands-free ejacs. Next time do it into the palm of a guy named Carlos. It's called the Puerto Rican Panhandle, I invented it.

11/26/18 Exhibition

I don't remember this in RoboCop

Turns out the 1987 original was supposed to be even more violent. With the new remake getting a PG-13 rating, with it comes the almost certainty to destroy the ultra-violent badass awesomeness of RoboCop and change him into a SFW metal pussy. Source: Ourrobocopremake.com

02/07/14 Parody
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