Worst Foreplay Ever

Worst Foreplay Ever

Uploaded 03/30/19
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My First Escort

Some real memorable facial expressions in this one. Almost as if she can't believe someone would pay good money to hookup with a person possessing less sexual prowess than a New York City hotdog, and still achieve climax. 4/10; would penetrate again.

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Prostitute Never Saw it Coming

I don't think that title and/or thumb truly convey the crossover that's about to happen here. But if it costs $50,000 to get an 8 pack of Oscar Mayer's uncured wieners into a female's dung funnel, then life is no longer worth living. Inflation did this.

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Creme Fraiche'd

Epic poker face @ .57 mark. I call this one the 'i totally just nutted in my own mouth but i dont even give a fuck cause i have a 6.7 inch penis and listen to Rage Against The Machine on vinyl' look. Dude's got that shit mastered.

05/11/12 TeenBurg Fail

The Virgin of All Virgins

The smile this dude gives off whilst getting his first dick-suck is fucking priceless. Worthy of it's own emoticon. Same goes for the someone-just-farted-in-my-face expression he exhibits once he realizes said blowjob has ended. Every 15 frames lies a Kodak moment.

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The Most Gentle Breakdown Ever

This girl has 1 of the nicest racks I've ever seen. But bundle that with an extremely frigid personality & you then have the biggest disappointment since Macaulay Culkin's The Pagemaster. Seriously, this chick's so uptight she wont even do a facial. It's tragic.

02/06/12 Rocco Siffredi Fail

The Absolute Worst of Pornhub X

I haven't come across so much reason to develop erectile dysfunction on purpose since going down the lore on [this social media creature]. It truly is an unfortunate day to have eyes.

GOONIES 3: CHUNK'S REVENGE

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Elena Koshka Overloaded

Symptom #67 that you've graduated from pornstar to full blown drama queen: 3 pumps from Manuel Ferrara's ham hog makes her tap out faster than the Frank Shamrock/Kevin Jackson fight (look it up). Like my reaction after hearing Oprah Winfrey wants to run for president, you can literally see fear in her eyes.

11/01/21 Manuel Ferrara Fail

The Caught Compilation 23

Another vigorous pairing of perverted miscreants that would be better suited opening at the Gathering of the Juggalos instead of having freedom of choice in a semi-coherent society.

The Biggest SIMP on Planet Earth

A look back at a camgirl addiction so extreme, it cost Grant Amato hundreds of thousands of dollars, the trust of his family members and a lifetime prison sentence. It's basically the modern day Romeo and Juliet.

Unacceptable Devices VII

Irrationally sized flobberweavels, a urethra that's suffered more abuse than whoever the fuck bought Barstool for $500 mil and the recreation of a classic in glorious high(er) definition. Don't think of this as the balanced breakfast you need, think of it as the one you deserve.

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