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She Claims She Fucked Her...

Cousin? Brother? Stepfather? How about all of the above. Not the slightest ounce of shame either. And when it comes to light that her brother/boyfriend did time in the pokey for murdering a person... all she can do is LOL. Definite keeper. Now watch her get DP'ed silly.

08/12/11 LULZ

Get Bent

His penis looks like a rotten banana. Could probably double as a personal coat hanger if enough viagra was involved. So does any of this slow him whenever he feels like getting his dick wet? Apparently not. Must be the personality.

11/28/10 LULZ

Cute Face...

I think someone transplanted Pamela Andersons head onto Rosie O'Donnells body. lol.

09/22/10

The Vibrating Pussy

So what's the scientific reasoning behind this one? Either her twat has Parkinson's or this is Hollow Man 3 and that mischievous fuck Kevin Bacon is back with a silenced Hitachi magic wand. Think about it.

08/28/10 POV Pervert Bizarre

Gay Thugs Ruin Porno Shoot

A fist fight breaks out just before a mass interracial orgy was set to take place. Dolemite subdues one of the offenders by infiltrating his underpants and obtaining a vice-like grip on the dudes cornhole. Technique courtesy of San Quentin state prison.

07/01/10 Fights

Dildo Causes Internal Damage

After straddling a butt plug as thick as a tree trunk, this chicks rectum starts oozing out blood like Owen Wilson's wrists after making another shitty movie.

Masculinity Fail

Dude sobs like a little bitch after his sexual advances get shot down by a midol-deficient cam. Cue theme song from Family Matters. No wait, scratch that. I got a much better song in mind. Watch and see.

06/17/10 LULZ

Super Mom

This is ex-pornstar Tiffany Million. She exited the adult industry in 1994 to become a Bounty Hunter in Arizona, which was later turned into a reality TV show. Unlike most of the 2 bit sloots in the business, Tiffany actually has some personality. She's funny as fuck and has an upbeat attitude to match, which makes beating off to her videos all the more rewarding.

05/17/10 LULZ

The Craziest Of All Crazy Bitches

Who the fuck refers to stripping butt naked in Grand Central Station as a 'declaration of indviduality'? The same person that dubs themselves a multimedia conceptual performance artist. I believe that's just fancy talk for "dumb hoe".

05/06/10 Exhibition

Amazing Horse

A live-action tribute to the greatest song/animation of the decade. Addicting as fuck.

04/18/10 LULZ

I'll Fuck You Up

Russian bitch spazzes the fuck out for no apparent reason and then tries to claim she was just "acting." Yep, no better way to enhance a porn scene than by acting like an inbred with Tourettes syndrome.

02/28/10 Fail

Street Walker Confessions

Every time her son's cock gets brought up, her eyes widen like someone in the drive-thru at Taco Bell. It's pretty creepy. Almost as creepy as that basketball-sized tumor hanging from her mid section. Seriously, what the fuck is that?

02/14/10 Hookers

Hung Like Bart Simpson

Dildo Baggins here could've saved himself a lot of embarrassment if he just stayed home and stuck to beating off to reruns of Captain Planet. Now he and his 4 inch celery stick have ended up on the world wide web for all to see and laugh at. Live and learn brooo.

11/27/09 FuckTeamFive LULZ

America's Next Top Pornstar

You stuttering, premature ejaculating son of a gun. Peter North and Ron Jeremy are already packing their bags.

08/16/09 Premature

When Senior Citizens Attack

Had me ROFL'ing up until the point that he started bashing her face in like Mike Tyson. That was my cue to bust out the Jergens.

05/22/09 Vintage

Threesome Sabotage

Such betrayal. If you're gonna engage in multi-person hetrosexual love-making, you gotta work as a team.

01/21/09 Bizarre

Your Cock Will Never Be That Big

Luckily I'll never be exposed to such humiliation at the hands of a woman, for in my hometown of Tajikistan it's a criminal offense to mock a man's penis size, punishable by decapitation via serrated butter knife. But that's not to say a woman would ever have any reason to shame my kidney cracker to begin with. Trust me, I put horses to shame.

01/16/09 Amateur

Tricked Into Having Gay Sex

Moral of the story: always be able to identify the person sucking your cock, unless you're totally cool with putting your sexuality in harms way. Some risks just aren't worth taking. See more guys tricked into being gay homosexuals on the BAIT BUS.

09/23/08 Bait Bus Gloryhole

Oh Noes The Condom Broke!

I found this on some website that pays $2,000 for homemade porno. I'm kinda bummed... they rejected all 3 of my personal sextapes, citing that my 2 inch penis wouldn't appeal to general audiences. Ouch!

A Good Reason Not To Do Anal

I know I know, all I ever do is boast about the greatness of anal sex. But we must not disregard a major downside to packing fudge - and that would be the fact that getting shit all over your cock is inevitable.

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