Welcome to the far east, a place where vaginas are never shaved but always multi purpose. A place where a nice business man can get a sake and light a cigar off a strippers vagina. Fun times.
This piece highlights some cases of shoulda locked the fucking door but I'm thinking with my genitals and other hilarious cases of people getting busted.
In Russia, a fake farm equipped with disco lights and some thot lip syncing catchy dance music while fucking for 20 minutes is quality porn. I'm not totally convinced, but the song does have a 'pavlov's dog' effect on my boner now.
An awkward 120 LB man-child thinks he has what it takes to make his porn debut with a pornstar that can't math. But even with the deer in headlights look in his eyes, he somehow pulls off the incredible.
Scene's over and it's time to go home... but first this starlet has a complete mental unraveling. Her tears and plight do little more than generate awkward lulz and kill the mood for the next girl.
I think we all know what really happened to that Malaysian airplane, as we've all seen Donnie Darko and know about the government cover up. But hey, all I'm really trying to say is that at least the G-spot is easier to find than Flight 370.
What happens in Mexico Chile gets filmed with a potato by cartel members drunk off corona lights. For some guys that love beheading the locals and smuggling drugs in their butts, they sure have weak stomachs.
I've heard a lot of desperate men say a lot of desperate shit just to keep their cocks submerged in teen sphincter.. but to essentially give a girl the greenlight to defecate on your penis just to avoid a 3 min. potty break? That's a level of dedication I hope to never know.
Cousin? Brother? Stepfather? How about all of the above. Not the slightest ounce of shame either. And when it comes to light that her brother/boyfriend did time in the pokey for murdering a person... all she can do is LOL. Definite keeper. Now watch her get DP'ed silly.
One man does in 30 seconds what 7 men couldnt do in 2 hours. His secret weapon? Jackrabbit-esque fucking. Lightening fast and kidney deep. Check the 1 minute mark. Her trembling lips and deer-in-headlights facial expression say it all. Ya did good kid.
Beefy vaginas are a welcomed delight here on eFukt, but this particular post isn't about the meat curtains. It's about dimensions. Thats right. This bitch's twat measures longer than my own cock and while that might not be saying much, I'm confident you'll be impressed. See more HERE.
Everyone is born with a gift. Hers is a colon that doubles as a footlocker in between flights from Thailand to the good ol' USA. Watch in utter amazement as she demonstrates her maximum storage capacity.
This is Busty Heart. She's got 40 pound titties that sag to the knees - most likely the product of strategically self-induced elephantitis. Fun bags of this caliber aren't taken lightly. One poor fuck literally croaked after catching a look at her knockers. LOL.
The title is slightly inaccurate, I just felt like making a reference to that shitty Nick Cage movie. The reality of the situation is that this willy wonka can't even last 5 seconds. Getting to the 1 minute mark would be like an olympic achievement.
No no you're doing it all wrong. You gotta hide the camera in a black t-shirt with the lens poking out through one of the arm holes and be sure to use some black tape to cover up the red LED light. Mom will never notice! hah
