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Big Penises Cause Big Problems

Jesus. His cock is so big it's capable of causing fatal internal damage. I've never been so jealous in my life.

07/15/09 Fail

Tits From Hell

God does not love you.

04/29/09

Let Yo Dick Swang

I wonder how often he accidentally breaks a girls nose doing all that high speed cock slapping? or does that only happen when the bitch stiffs him on his much deserved dollar tip?

02/11/09 Strippers

Zombie Tits

I suppose titty fucking is out of the question?

02/10/09

The Dumbest Sex Device Ever Built

That doesn't even look too fun. Her tits look like tomatoes on the verge of exploding. I never realized breasts were so durable. Not only do they come in handy for whatever the fuck you'd call this shit, but they also serve as excellent punching bags. They're multipurpose, unlike my penis.

12/28/08 Bizarre

Who Needs Big Tits?

Perhaps she doesn't. But what she does need is a paper bag. Guess where I want her to put it?

12/18/08

BOOM! Your Ass Is Busted!

What happens when you put a huge cock and a tiny asshole together and shake it up a whole bunch? Prolapsicus maximus, that's what. I never finished med school but it's my professional suggestion that she pick up a pack of band-aids on the way home.

12/12/08 Fail

Her Pussy Needs Stitches!

Cocks like this ought to be illegal, punishable by castration. Anything above 13 inches has got to go. They'll poke your eye out, prolapse your ass and leave with you a cocktail of STD's.

09/30/08 Bizarre

Black Cock Causes Bodily Damage

Not quite a prolapse but it might as well be. Her asshole looks a slice of damaged grapefruit and her vagina... hmmm... I'm gonna go with a cut of ahi tuna - burnt on the edges, raw in the center. Updating this site always makes me hungry.

09/20/08 Asians

Long Like The Neck Of An Ostrich

I have dreams of my penis being that big. I see myself wearing loose fitted short shorts with my wang hanging out the side as I rollerblade by the beach. Jealous men shield their girlfriends eyes as my cock sways back and forth in the wind.

09/08/08 Big Dicks

Two Feet Of Pain

He's got me beat by like one inch. Okay maybe more like 23 inches. I couldn't even satisfy a midget. But where I lack in size, I make up for with class and charm.

09/04/08 Big Dicks

Big Dick Syndrome

Aye carumba! Nice elephant cock dood! But I forsee 1 little problem... the only creatures with big enough holes for you to fuck are large horses and gay pornstars who've been subjected to olympian gangbangs. Tough break bro!

08/26/08 Big Dicks

Worlds Biggest Cock

God blesses him with a horse cock and what does he do? Turns into a tranny and only fucks men. What a waste... think of all the vaginas he could've decimated with that thing.

08/05/08 Big Dicks

You Suck At Fucking My Wife

This guy propositioned a black man to fuck his wife, hoping to satisfy her desires for a huge cock. The black man gladly agrees but later discovers that fulfilling his role isn't as easy as he had anticipated.

07/04/08 Fail

The Price Of Sleeping Over

Sure dude, you can spend the night. All you have to do is suck my cock in the morning. If only that approach worked on girls.

07/03/08 Amateur

It Wont Fit

No matter how hard he tries, his cock just wont fit in her ass. Just do what I do, use full force and if you hear a shriek then you know you're in.

05/04/08 Amateur

She Loves Big Black Cocks

He tries to get her to say "you worship black cock" but she doesn't comply... so he thrusts even harder which leads to her having orgasmic spasms in a retard-like manner. Lovin it.

04/24/08 Amateur

Impaled By Giant Dildo

Look at how tightly her pussy clings to that dildo. I bet you anything that if she retracted really fast her vagina would prolapse. Yikes!!!!!

03/27/08 Insertions

Creamy Vagina

Look, her pussy is oozing all over his cock. I bet you'd love to lick up that pussy juice you dirty fuck.

03/24/08 Amateur

Oh My God

This marks the return of the emotional orgasm slut, my personal favorite. Nothing excites me more than watchin that black sausage destroy her ivory cooter.

02/20/08 Orgasms
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