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I Lost My Virginity To A Dog

Perhaps my logic in somewhat flawed - but you'd think that someone who's devoted their life to sucking animal dick would at least have the courtesy to convert to vegetarianism. You heartless bitch.

03/10/10 LULZ

I'll Fuck You Up

Russian bitch spazzes the fuck out for no apparent reason and then tries to claim she was just "acting." Yep, no better way to enhance a porn scene than by acting like an inbred with Tourettes syndrome.

02/28/10 Fail

He Rather Fuck A Horse

Hmmm. Cant really blame the guy. If your wife looked like a cross between Rosanne and a lesbian hippopotamus... you'd probably explore other options too.

02/16/10 LULZ

There Goes My Porn Career

Full video available from BangBros.

02/06/10 Bangbros Premature

Porno Accidente

Guess what goes wrong.

02/01/10 Fail

Hi, My Penis Is 3 Feet Long

Shit. If my cock that was big, I'd throw on my limited edition Bugle Boy jean shorts and hit the boardwalk.

01/26/10 Asians

How Pornstars Get Pinkeye

The jizz of a man infused with rectal juice? That's like fuckin battery acid. Kiss yo 20/20 vision goodbye bitch!

01/08/10 Fail

Pocahontas Accidentally Shits Herself

An Indian prostitute that speaks in ebonics and lacks basic potty training? Some women are just born to be on eFukt.

12/23/09 Hookers

The Blob

He can brag about his 20 pound meat bag all he wants. If it doesn't get hard, then it's about as useful as a black hooker at a blood drive.

11/19/09 WTF

He'll Never Do Porn Again

Failure to achieve erection OR premature ejaculation. Those are the top 2 problems most men face when trying to perform on camera. It's usually one or the other... but in this chumps case - 2 birds are killed with 1 very tiny stone.

11/17/09 Premature

Anal Creampie From Hell

It's crazy. On the outside, assholes all look the same. But if your rectum was to ever head south & emerge as a pink-sock... you'd quickly find that much like the butt plugs in Oprah Winfrey's sextoy collection, they come in all shapes, sizes and colors. 4 years of running a porn site and that's about all I've learned.

11/11/09 Prolapse

Bitch! You Broke My Dick!

Fuck porn, she belongs in MMA.

11/04/09 Fights

Mr. Plow

for when Colon Cleanse just isn't enough..

11/03/09 Insertions

The Inside Out Girl

Her asshole resembles the neck of a turkey that's just been decapitated. Hmmm.

10/30/09 Prolapse

Suicide By Dildo

Don't give up.... you're almost there.

10/27/09 Insertions

Quit Fapping & GTFO

I guess he figured that once she laid eyes on his 7 inch yankee doodle, she wouldn't be able to resist and that a 'happy ending' would ensue. The Motel 6 guy actually shared the same ideology. Too much late night Cinemax porn can really fuck with your head these days.

10/09/09 Exhibition

The Most Miserable Pornstar Ever

Pretty sure I once saw this chick in a humanitarian commercial for Yugoslavian orphans. It's hard to forget a facial expression like that.... especially after fappin to it for 3 consecutive months.

10/07/09 Fail

The Elevator

I decided to reuse the sound bite from yesterday's clip. Who would've thought Robert Deniro's voice could so perfectly complete a video of a man retracting his nut sack to and fro? I know I know, it's amazing.

09/30/09 LULZ

Cunt Head

Yoshinoya lost his Rolex diamond watch up a hooker's fallopian tubes and sets off on a death defying expedition to recover it. Enjoy!

09/30/09 Asians

Cumshot Fail

Tojiri "vertigo" Yamamato fumbles at the 3 yard line.

09/26/09 Fail
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