BEEFUS MAXIMUS

2,371,643 views

See the thumbnail? Get used to making that face. For you're about to meet a woman with enough human-grade roast beef to end global hunger. I never finished medical school... but it's my professional suggestion she uses the $47.00 paid for this scene to buy a pair of hedge sheers on the way home.

Uploaded 05/08/19 Loose

If you think that number is talking about hog dimensions, you will be sorely mistaken. It seems this attraction has stricter height limitations than Six Flag's El Toro. You gotta measure less than 4 feet tall, well-versed in THOTology and be next in line for a fight with Jake Paul. Brutal. Part 1 [HERE] Part 2 [HERE] Support [HERE]

1,539,891 views 02/01/24 Mildly Retarded

Permission to Destroy

Lexi Grey has a long list of do's and a virtually non-existent list of do-nots. Now somebody get this future hall of famer the urban dictionary definition of Alabama Hot Pocket ASAP so we can fight over who gets to marry her first.

1,752,433 views 02/21/22 Hoby Buchanon Loose

The Tallahassee Crab Trap

Consider this the advanced users only section of the Internet. And nothing spells T-A-C-T-I-C-A-L A-D-V-A-N-T-A-G-E quite like a woman that could literally use a Volkswagen Golf as a dildo. If you're not into safe spaces being invaded... this one isn't for you.

2,701,705 views 11/05/19 Loose

Mother of the Year!

Enjoy, for this is undoubtedly the first, last and only time you'll ever see an 18 year old camwhore drunkenly dildo herself directly in front of her disapproving mom. In a word... FAP.

8,056,729 views 10/12/12 MyFreeCams Favorites

Bad Glory Hole Etiquette

7 samples into a hot dog warming party goes horribly wrong when one rogue cowboy says fuck all to the rules and slings his gentleman juice around like he's in the handicap stall at Country Buffet. The result is a crash course on Plan-B and why IQ tests need to be mandatory in porn. [More Here]

2,728,039 views 01/05/20 Gloryhole Swallow Gloryhole

The Socially Awkward Teenager

When it's a girl's first time doing hardcore porn and she's too nervous on camera to put two syllables together, you get what I imagine to be the closest experience to fucking a corpse you can have without taking a trip to the morgue. Luckily the awkwardness only makes me harder.

5,842,144 views 08/13/13 Teen

The Caught Compilation 8

Today's lessons: Little Dicky is a literal name (4:21), Tourism is still alive and well (0:11) and statistically speaking, this is the least likely way to acquire an STD in public. Trust me, I've seen 3 full episodes of House M.D.

3,380,479 views 06/25/20 Caught Compilations

Your ASS is Gonna Learn Today

free tip: Don't be fooled by the "i collect exotic toothpastes and I'm saving my g-spot for Sonic the Hedgehog" appearance. She may appear to be innocent, but this is no sex noob. Despite leaking more soft serve than a birthday party at Carvel, she actually did finish the scene.

2,283,101 views 03/31/22 Woodman Casting X Loose

The Girlfriend Experience

And by experience, I mean one man blowing up his beer money on the kind of sexual endeavor that would shell shock a Vietnam war veteran. Speaking of blowing up: The only thing missing from that slaughter house between her legs is someone in the background screaming wUrLstAr and Floyd Mayweather coming out of retirement to fight it.

2,084,227 views 11/18/20 Horror Porn Loose

Rough Sex Accident

This 'top quality' penthouse hotel porn gets awful real fast. Some say his dick is too big, others say her holes are too small. If you were to ask me I would say LOLOLOL.

4,709,680 views 03/27/15 Fail

"TAKE IT OUT NOW!"

11,004 views 05/16/24

Bad Boyfriends 2

Dude at the 2:00 mark must have went as Apocolypto for Halloween in 2006 and forgot to take the costume off, and I have no doubt our Scottish socialite's rectal contractions look like they just graduated a course in sign language. Go ahead and tell me nice guys actually do win again?

2,317,641 views 11/10/22 Bad Boyfriends