The Legend of the Golden Condom

Primative Sexology

Naturally occurring clay has impurities such as rocks & sand in it. There's a way to filter these impurities by planting a female of breeding age directly into the Earth. In this video I start by digging approximately 5 feet into the ground. Then applied our volunteer. This was done a number of times until they realized working retail at Walmart was a better idea after all.

Britain's Educational TV is Insane

There's a thin line between getting your PhD with a doctorate in biology, and reprising your role as JUDGE FUCKING DOOM in the x-rated Roger Rabbit reboot. Where the line lies, I don't really know... but I'm pretty damn sure masturbation is no longer an option this week. [More Info Here]

The Show Must Go On

Playstation One-levels of animation and someones first experience with Windows Movie Maker goes horribly... right? In other words, I only ejaculated twice. And that's coming from a man whos seen Sarah Silverman naked. My voice matters.

The Life of Mammals

Pairing a guy that looks like he spends the weekend trading anti-lesbian meatloaf recipes over AOL chatrooms, with a girl that gets so purple she should be asking "where's Ronald?" doesn't seem like a contender for documentary of the year. But then you hear who's narrating it.

Milk and Cereal

You could throw a football in her asshole and hit nothing but net. She has the Mariana Trench of colons and today she's pushing the limits of pornography, breakfast, and ass sphincters all at the same time.

The Truth Behind Girls Gone Wild

[what you know]: Anyone that's had a TV on after 1:00AM between the years 1997 and 2003 are still trying to get this fucking theme song out of their heads. [what you don't know]: Doug "hobgoblin" Stanhope had the approachability of post-nut clarity Clint Howard. I demand a reboot.

The Worst of OnlyFanz II

Round 2 for the most depraved, fatherless clout-chasers on the Internet as we know it today today. I'm talking about real deal independent women here. The kind that pay for their birth control with subscriber money. [Part 1]

Awkward Moments In Porn 4

If you haven't already, check out the rest of the series and then come back. We're going to meet a girl who has never blowjob'd before, plus a man who has a breakdown. While fucking a cake. So go get your little sister 'cause it's gonna be a really swag time.

Australia Banned this Movie

I don't even know what's worse: $100,000 dollars being sunk into this abhorrent hunk of cinematic shit... or the fact that it blows away the last 4 seasons of The Walking Dead in both action and character development. #bringbackshane

Wheelchair Bobby Inseminates Goth Prostitute

Watch as emo Helga Pataki dirty talks Jimmy Noodle Legs during a hot coitus session. Turns out Jenny from Forest Gump isn't the only suicidal slut down for banging immobilized mental midgets.

Denny's Waiter Tipped With Blowjob

He says it's the best tip he's ever received but considering he's going to get fired for a 3 second blowjob... I'm not convinced. Also, never trust a girl who values her blowjobs less than what she tips.

THAT DIDN'T END WELL