AKA "The Ted Bundy Sex Doll Treatment". She was carefully sculpted by the loving hands of a master craftsmen. Made to be life like, made to look real, made for your loser uncle to fornicate with. Made to be destroyed. SAUCE.
April Foolz 2016 marks the decade anniversary of eFukt. I want to tell all of you thank you and at the same time you're fucking welcome! Here's to the best fan base of all time!
AKA "how to ruin your reputation on a global scale." Usually it's a good thing if everyone gets laid at a party... but not when they all fucked the same chubby std collector.
If this year has taught me anything at all; it's that cabin fever has driven desperate people to the edge. Especially the ones that are no stranger to Walmart gift cards and live on streets that are named after presidents. 2022 is gonna be lit ya'll.
She has the face/titties of an angel. Clearly knows her way around a ROSS dress-4-less too. Seldom do I say it but this girl is a cunt hair away from being worthy of a Black Angus prix fixe dinner on my dime. Unfortunately though, she has a clitoris like Adrian Brody has a nose.
Buried in snippets among hours of gang bang porn is a story. The story of a shy fresh-faced eighteen year old curiously browsing a porn store, and slowly becoming a total whore over the period of few short weeks. Amazing.
Compliments aren't my strong point, but I must say... chick in the yellow dress is fucking stunning. I'd readily eat Honey Nut Cherrios out of Philip Seymour Hoffman's crusty asshole just for a chance to hold her hand. Someone Russian please hook it up.
For fuck sakes, these dorks could've thrown a dart at any billboard in Las Vegas and found better ideas to attach to their bodies permanently. I haven't seen people this far out of their comfort zones since the launch of Burger King's ultimate breakfast platter.
The Rectum: Some men never experience contact with it. Others, speed-run it like a 3:00AM trip through the Burger King drive-thru. But judging by this specimen's cornhole pastaroni, I think it's a safe bet she follows Gordon Ramsay on TikTok. Happy Fuckin Holiday(s).
She's got a unique look. It's two parts concentration camp, one part Glamour Girls. If anyone's interested in a wager, I have Season 6 of Bill Nye the Science Guy on bluray that says my pet chinchilla drops bigger deuces than this chick. More of her HERE.
They've been hauling 10 tons of Chinese door frames across the country for about 8 hours straight and the nicest thing these guys have seen so far is Esther from IHOP. So, I can't really blame them much for their behavior.