Microscope Not Included

Microscope Not Included

Uploaded 09/30/10
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Pork sword bros break the first rule in Ghostbusters 101, clown horn honking gets a new identity and whatever the fuck fight the girl at 1:12 is practicing for is something I feel should be featured on this site in the future. Somebody fetch my finest Walmart polyester linen, I wish to ejaculate.

YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG

Here's some wisdom I picked up while watching an infomercial for Tony Little's Gazelle Sprintmaster - always maintain good form. Sloppy form is how people get killed. Don't think the same is applicable to sucking dick? Neither did she.

03/15/12 EvilAngel Fail

Camgirl Left Speechless

Paying someone on the internet to watch you jerk off on webcam seems pathetic and sad overall, but this one has to hold back laughing when she see's this fuckin guys dick.

BEEFUS MAXIMUS

See the thumbnail? Get used to making that face. For you're about to meet a woman with enough human-grade roast beef to end global hunger. I never finished medical school... but it's my professional suggestion she uses the $47.00 paid for this scene to buy a pair of hedge sheers on the way home.

05/08/19 Loose

CAMTASTROPHES #10

It's all giggles until you hit 5:15. My advice? Be less worried about token counts and more concerned with whatever off-road vehicle ran that thing over and fled the scene. The fuck is going on down there? And more importantly, how many Tremors movies are we up to now?

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Calling an Audible

Perhaps 'audible' is the wrong word to use here, as it suggests this misfit anticipated the scene going any other possible way. She didn't. Trust me. I've been inside a Walmart parking lot on a Friday night - I know what I'm talking about.

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The Life Of A Male Stripper

While padding your resume may not be something generally frowned upon when seeking an enhancement in your employment opportunities, safety should always be your first priority. And at least one change of your finest linens. Remember that, Greg.

09/03/26 LULZ

Land of the Fucking Dead

That feeling when you realize a backdoor studio in Japan with a $300 makeup budget is closer to the source material of the Resident Evil games than any official movie and whatever the fuck crawled out of Netflix headquarters put together. 2 thumbs up, would Jill off into my sandwich again.

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NOW YOU'RE VIRAL

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"The Initiation"

That's a serious personality disorder.

Sorry, My Penis is Broken

General Zod experiences performance anxiety.

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We've Completely Lost The Plot

Welcome to the "Donnie Darko" of porn.

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