Not A Phase Mom

Not A Phase Mom

Uploaded 08/24/16
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Making the Impossible Possible

So, who's really to blame here? The horse farm that secured their perimeter to keep her away from the livestock, or the guy with 4 Q's in his name that's keeping her on a 1-token drip for the past 4 hours?

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Unacceptable Devices

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YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG... AGAIN

Not since ejaculating to Samuel L Jackson's death scene in Deep Blue Sea have I felt this much cinematographic remorse. They just let his wonder worm flap around without even an attempt at Photoshop. Five more leading roles like this and she'll be ready for Paul Anderson.

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Bad Times At The Bachelorette Party

This girl has an emotional breakdown immediately following a facial. I initially assumed the obvious - dude must love his jumbo asparagus. But upon a 2nd viewing, I spotted a wedding band on the left hand. This is the part where I'm supposed to call her a slut. Personally, I'd rather just comfort her and smell her butt. I'm romantic like that.

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Porn That Shouldn't Exist: 8

30 seconds in and two things will become apparent: 1) You've been grossly mislead about Nebraska's tourism attractions. And 2) At least 50% of the people who seek these videos out individually, have ejaculated to the Nordstrom catalogue. Home decor section.

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Butthole Rekt By Mandingo

Srsly tho, "dog fart" has to be the fucking worst studio name in porno history.

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The Cum MASTER

Real? Deceptive editing? The Goku of premature ejaculation? I don't have the answer this time. But just imagine if he went even further with this talent. Plan-B's entire industry would need emergency funding.

Peer Pressure Always Wins

These overseas full force fuck fantasies videos are starting to get a little disturbing to be honest. And like one of the greatest voices of our generation once taught us: you never go full force. More questionable bean flicking material HERE.

Public Degeneracy Volume 18

Maybe you've already seen the clip at 2:00. It seems to have spread across the Internet faster than gonorrhea during Burning Man weekend. But the rest is definitely worth a spot amongst your 36 hour doom scroll. More public shame[ing] [here]

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I don't know why anyone would post such things of themselves onto such a terrible place as the internet, but whatever! Come ride the shit train with me on a journey into the awful side of amateur pornography.

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