Tool Shopping

Tool Shopping

Uploaded 01/27/15
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OOPS! I Accidentally Anal'd You!

If there's one thing that never fails to get a fuckload of clicks - it's videos of unexpected butt love. So here's 8 of em. That's right, EIGHT, as in the number of times I defecated after eating crab wontons at P.F. Changs. Enjoy.

01/22/12 Anal

The Cum MASTER

Real? Deceptive editing? The Goku of premature ejaculation? I don't have the answer this time. But just imagine if he went even further with this talent. Plan-B's entire industry would need emergency funding.

Psychotic 18 Year Old Terrorizes Strangers

One of those rare moments where I can overlook the obvious health code violations because the performance is legendary. Be sure to leave them a ★★★★★ Yelp review. Something along the lines of: Service was fast. Getting pubic lice was faster.

08/07/23 Crazy

Heavy Fucking Metal

GWAR has been real quiet since this dropped...

01/05/26 Beef Curtains

Porn Scenes Worthy of an Oscar 7

Saw X will be out by the time this is posted. You can't name 5 ways it's better than this. #bet

Humanity Is Fucked

If it wasn't for the guy getting his hot dog caramelized I was going to say society has gotten too soft on sperg-like sex acts that belong behind closed doors or in a WNBA locker room. I expect nothing less from citizens that look like Buc-ee's is their favorite restaurant.

10/19/23 Bizarre

The Special Needs Prostitute

Blue-balled midgets, schizophrenic autists, Miley Cyrus' fan base... this woman's sexual clientele is more well-rounded than IHOP's farmhouse breakfast. Unfortunately there's no visuals of penetration. But what it lacks in nightmares... it makes up for in California's voting pool.

10/26/19 Hookers

sAdisTic DJ sEtS girL on FIRE!

Apparently this is common in the grottos of Nigeria. I'm not so sure about it's entertainment value though. Some will look at this and see the peak of female empowerment... all I see is a barbecue even Homer fucking Simpson himself would've RSVP to.

08/19/17 WTF

Destiny Deville is Clinically Insane

Looks like someone crossbred Rosario Dawson with a howler monkey and gave it rabies. But this isn't for the lulz... more about awareness. You honestly don't even need video for this. The soundtrack alone is enough to keep my Bugle Boy cut-offs on the rinse cycle.

12/02/18 Crazy

Nothing Is Sacred Anymore

First they [besmirched the good name of Silent Hill 2]. Now this? Still better then whatever the fuck the RE3 remake was, but low ceilings were made to be broken.

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