Ya know, I've always wondered what kind of standard the director of these JAVsterpieces are looking for when filming this bullshit. Like if the floater doesn't reach max buoyancy during the first take, does the entire production have to shutdown so "Shart Girl #2" can hit up catering to fill up on cabbage? The west may never know. #SP-672
Internet webcam hooker Bella Alice appears to suffer from acute reflex seizures triggered by sexual climax. She also uses a sound activated dildo that vibrates when people tip her which is funny af.
An aryan idol sexually trolls the hotel bell hop in order to win a "contest" that may or may not even exist. Regardless, Michael Cera is here to help. Although I'm not entirely convinced he's ever done this before.
30 seconds in and two things will become apparent: 1) You've been grossly mislead about Nebraska's tourism attractions. And 2) At least 50% of the people who seek these videos out individually, have ejaculated to the Nordstrom catalogue. Home decor section.
A solid plot line can make up for just about anything: Bad acting, low budgets, the marionette scene in Terrifier 2. But this assortment of genetic defects? They've got digital footprints like Tom Cruise has regressive Aspergers, and I don't know when this fucking ride is gonna end.
Another year has come and gone, so let's not forget to pay a much deserved tribute to the hardworking women of the porn industry. This one's for you, ladies.
Not only did this happen live, but she nailed the mythic trifecta: Dry-docked a Russian without a gun to her head, hit the sour cream & onion griddy & did it all with her BF 20 feet away. It's not every day we find girls worthy of an all-expenses paid trip to Red Robin... but she's here.
There's a thin line between trailer park erotica, and soul-deep emotional trauma. Where that line exists I don't know... but judging by the amount of dollar store tattoos I'm seeing on that body, I'd say this human Hindenburg sure as fuck does.
Hey maybe this is your thing, and so be it if it is. I just want to make sure we're all on the same page when it comes to buying modern day remakes and how they should involve as many bodily fluids as possible. Always shop smart. Shop S-Mart.
Do their porno dreams come true? Fuck no. Instead, four average-ass mother fuckers attempt to make sex with the prestigious Christy Mack, and each and every one of them brutally embarrasses themselves.
"I'll tell ya one thing about my personal life that I've never told before. I never fucked a ten, but one night, I fucked five twos. And I think that ought to count. I think that ought to go in your record as a positive achievement." - George Carlin
Admittedly the carb walrus she's costarring with may have her beat in the embarrassment department, but she's not far behind in this race. If anything at all for offsetting what may be the greatest set of natural tits ever documented by having the face of Jaden Smith. It can not be unseen.
